Dead Flowers
by whisperinglately
Summary: Did you ever wonder what would happen after the end of that was then, this is now? Does Mark ever get out of jail or get revenge? What happens to Charlie's old bar? Do Cathy and Ponyboy stay together? please review. should i make another twt,tin fanfic?
1. Do it for charlie, man

dead flowers  
  
Eventually, school started. Always does. I kept doing my usual thing, being there but not really. Really I was back with Mark, Cathy, M & M, and even Charlie. Deep in my thoughts, I was back in that time when I could feel.  
  
Maybe I can still feel. I feel like I'm going crazy.  
  
Its all I can think about. What used to be, but is no more. Now it doesn't exist.  
  
In the hallways at school, some people wave at me, like guys I used to talk to during class, and even Ponyboy. But when they wave, it's not like they're trying to say hi to me cause we're such great friends. Every wave is awkward and done out of pity for me. Now, people don't hate me, now I'm the charity case.  
  
They look at me for a second afterwards, wondering if this time I'll wave back, if this time I'll show that I'm human. I don't and I'm not.  
  
After about 2 weeks, people got sick of me. No more sympathetic waves. Except for Ponyboy. He's an angel, remember?   
  
Finally, Ponyboy came up to me real slow, like he was approaching a wild animal. I rolled my eyes upward and slumped down in my chair.  
  
"Hey." Hey it was the first time he had talked to me in so many months. I figured if I ignored him he might leave, it usually worked. Not this time, I guess.  
  
"How ya doing, Bryon?" Was he kidding? I was miserable, and he knew it. "How's Junior year been so far?" He paused so I could answer, but I didn't want to talk to him. Couldn't he figure that out?  
  
"It isn't so bad. There's a lot more work, though, ain't that right?" Guess not. Poor Cathy, dating an idiot.   
  
I didn't feel like sticking around, so I left. Never said one word to Ponyboy. Oh well.   
  
I climbed into my car and drove it from the school back to my house. I had put new locks on the doors after a nightmare that Mark broke out of jail and came for me. It was a waste of money, though, cause he could always find me if he tired hard enough . And hey, why would he do that? Then he'd break his promikse that he'd never see me again when he got out.  
  
The house would've been silent with Mom still at work, but her cats noised it up. All that meowing or whatever, begging for food. I swear, they ate more than me.  
  
  
  
I went up to my room, the one I had shared with Mark. The police had messed with his junk, of couse, but besides that his things hadn't been touched. Mom hadn't even washed the sheets on the bed.  
  
I only had an hour to do my homework before I went to work. If I kept my grades up, I could get a scholarship and leave this joint.  
  
Ponyboy was right, we did have a lot of work this year. And it was real hard, too. After being stuck on an Algebra problem for 20 minutes, I though why wait? Why haven't I left town already? For Mom? She didn't need me, she'd be fine. She had her cats.  
  
So I decided to leave.  
  
I went ahead and went to work that night so I could get my paycheck. Man, I deserved every dime I got. You don't know how many lousy things I had to do, cleaning up vomit and even being held up by some Socs once. Can you believe it? Rich kids stealing money.  
  
Before I left I went over to the floral part. I used to get flowers for chicks all the time. They go crazy over them. But this wasn't for a chick. I had some other business to take care of.  
  
I drove down to that beat-up, rotten, poor, bum cemetary. It was kind of spooky being there at night and all. I got out and found Charlie's grave; I remembered exactly where it was. What would Charlie think of me now, huh?  
  
I formed words hoarsely when I reached his marker:  
  
"Look at me now, Charlie. You gave your life for me and Mark. I screwed up Mark's and look what I've done with mine? Aren't you proud?"  
  
I threw the flowers down and ran to my/his car.  
  
After driving off, I started towards the road leading out of town, but then I passed the old bar, and sort of wondered if I should've put the flowers in front of the bar in maybe in that alley instead.  
  
It was hard to take. It was all hard to take. But I couldn't keep running. Charlie gave his life for mine and I couldn't waste it.  
  
I turned around in a shopping mall parking lot, and headed for Cathy's.  
  
END OF PART ONE  
  
-----  
  
So y'all....  
  
Whatdja think? 


	2. its dark over there but its darker here

its dark over there, but its darker here  
  
Yeah, I didn't love her anymore, but besides Mark, she was the only person I had ever been close to. I had a much better chance of getting to be friends with her than Mark again.  
  
It was late, so I decided I better knock on her window and not get her parents mad. Only I wasn't sure which was hers and which was one of the kids. Taking a chance, I tapped on one window and suddenly hoped M&M wouldn't answer. One step at a time, right?  
  
It wasn't him, though. I didn't know this one's name and he didn't look like he recognized me. He seemed kind of scared.  
  
"Who are you?" I asked the little boy out of curiousity about his name, and reasonably enough he asked the same question.  
  
"Bryon." I told him simply.  
  
"Oh. OOOh." I think something clicked in his dark-hair covered head right then, and next he asked if I wanted to see Cathy.  
  
"Yup." He nodded and disappeared into the shadows of the room.   
  
I didn't wait for long before someone came back. I could hear her footsteps before she got to the window, and my heart pounded louder with every one. I hadn't thought this through. What was I going to say? Yesterday I had turned my head to the side when she walked past me at school. Quickly I stepped backwards and then I tripped over something-not sure what it is was-and lay flat on the ground.  
  
Cathy pushed aside the lace curtain that was draped across the window and peered out into the night. "Ponyboy?" she whispered.  
  
The Tiny One hadn't told her very much it seemed. He probably just said there was a guy who wanted to see her and she naturally assumed that it was her adoring boyfriend.   
  
She was pretty, I had forgotten that.  
  
Again, she called out his name, but interrupted herself with a yawn. Shaking her head, she turned to go back inside.  
  
"Wait!" I called out. Suddenly she kind of twitched and almost collasped but she caught herself by sticking her hand on the wall. I knew she couldn't see me, but she remembered my voice. I pulled myself up and she just stood there, as if paralyzed with...fear? Did I hurt her that bad? Oh Cathy.  
  
Her body stayed still but her eyes moved, just enough to watch me. And then she looked right at me, right at my eyes, and this time she didn't steady herself on the wall when she fell. I had to reach through the window and catch her.  
  
I stood leaning towards her, holding her arms.  
  
She cried her silent tears. 


	3. all shook up

oh yeah, almost forgot, i don't own these characters in my Dead Flowers fic, okay? They belong to S.E. Hinton  
  
Also: much thanks to Deadly Wisteria for giving me my first review and some really great ideas   
  
y'all should follow DW's example (or rebel against all the people who aren't reviewing.)  
  
(either/or.)  
  
And on with the fic:   
  
_____________________________________________________________________________________   
  
So now I'm confused, don't know what to do next, got Cathy all shooken up...life just keeps getting better and better don't ya think?  
  
That whole thing with Cathy...man. I ain't saying I want her back her anything. I mean, she's going out with Curis, and they're perfect for each other. Like she'd ever take me back anyways. Ha. Ha-ha-ha. That's not what's going on. That's not what's going on okay? It's just that we ended things on rough terms and we need to straighten things out and then maygbe we can become friends.  
  
---  
  
That night, after a little while, Cathy told me she was tired and that we could talk more some other time. I wanted to tell her to stay. I wanted to talk then. There were so many words I hadn't spoken yet. But then again, she was handling this pretty rough. Not that she shouldn't be, I mean, we were really digging each other and then I just pushed her aside. I didn't say anything to her for months. I'm just glad she didn't throw something at as soon as she saw me.  
  
She left me, there, watching the curtain sway in the slight breeze. I sat down against a tree and lit a cigarette, but put it out. I'm not sure why, but I just didn't feel like smoking right then. I just wanted to think. Weird huh? That's all I've done for so long, but now I had something new to think about, a new situation I had to deal with.   
  
I had to take things slow. I couldn't expect us to be tight (you know, like friends and all) just like that.   
  
And I have to be careful about Ponyboy. He might think...and then he might...well I just have to be careful.  
  
Right then I decided, I just needed to get some sleep. I had school in the morning. And work afterwards. Jerking myself up and towards my car, I imitated Cathy's yawn while saying, "Should've left."  
  
Then I drove home and went to sleep in my bed across from Mark's.  
  
----  
  
P.S. You'll have to wait to see the fruit of your works, Deadly =)  
  
Ideas will be incorporated later probably 


	4. Chapter 4: talks with m&m and Cathy

disclaimer: characters=S.E. Hinton's (and M&M's=Mars Corporation and Big Red=Wrigley's)  
  
not me  
  
me=writing fic on her books  
  
me=not owning characters  
  
me=not getting money for fic  
  
get it?  
  
wonderful  
  
i luv y'all  
  
please reply  
  
thankx to all those who've done so already  
  
y'all are great  
  
and sorry for taking so long to write and post  
  
my internet has crashed  
  
y'all must bear with me  
  
oh yeah  
  
here's the fic  
  
---------------------  
  
About a week later, I ditched my car at the house and took a walk around town. Stumbling into a gas station to pick up some gum, I saw a familiar person buying a pack of color-coated candies. I don't know if M&M saw me. I got my pack quickly and got out of there. I almost forgot to pay for it.  
  
What did I have to say to him anyway? Man, I' m sorry you screwed up your head?  
  
Popping a stick in my mouth, I headed down the street. I'm a coward I thought. I got to face up to all the junk I ran away from before. It's hard though.  
  
  
  
I kept walking and ended up in front of that bar again. That stupid bar. Man. Man, Charlie.  
  
I don't want to talk to M&M or Cathy, or anybody. I want to go to sleep and forget that there are other people in the world. Forget what I've done, forget what happened.   
  
Sitting there, under my breath cursing out every person I ever knew, I could see M&M walking up to me.  
  
I hadn't really looked at him before at the gas station. Now I had my chance. He seemed a lot like when we ran into each other at the drugstore a while back. He looked like a normal guy. Short hair, decent clothes, decent shoes. But around his neck was a long piece of rawhide, most of it tucked under his shirt. I could faintly see something round poking through, and I had a good idea what it was.  
  
Tilting my head at me, I told him, "This is a bad side of town. You really shouldn't be around here."  
  
He had a blank expression that I couldn't read.  
  
"I used to come around here all the time looking for you and Mark."  
  
"Yeah," I said. I hadn't forgotten much about back then.  
  
"And I'm just down the street all the time at the drugstore, too."  
  
He sat down beside me and held out some M&M's. Hadn't ate any in a while. Pretty good.  
  
"Want a piece of Big Red?" I asked him.  
  
He took it and stuck it in his pocket.  
  
We sat there a while, munching on this candy. Suddenly he spoke up.  
  
"You know, I think she's going to forgive you."  
  
I looked at him, and didn't say anything at first. Cathy was most of what I thought about lately.  
  
"Really?' I said, just to say something. M&M wouldn't say it if he didn't mean it. I knew that.  
  
"She will."  
  
"I haven't got to talk to her since the other night."   
  
"Go talk to her now."  
  
"Right now?"  
  
"If you want. She's at home."  
  
"Um...okay." Even though I wasn't acting like it and even though I didn't want to talk to anybody a few minutes okay, I really wanted to see Cathy. "What are you gonna do?"  
  
"I'm going to go to the drugstore."  
  
"Got any money?"  
  
"A little. Fifty-three cents."  
  
"Here, take a dollar."  
  
"That's okay, Bryon."  
  
"C'mon, I owe you anyways."  
  
"For what?'  
  
"All those times you loaned me money."  
  
"You paid me back."  
  
"You never made me pay interest, though."  
  
"That's what friends do."  
  
I smiled at him, and I haven't smiled much lately. And he smiled back. I'm glad he still could.  
  
I shoved the dollar in his hand. And started walking again. I was hoping to see that same smile on Cathy. He headed the other way towards the drugstore, and after a while he called out "I'll pay you back, Bryon!"  
  
Nice kid.  
  
*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*_*  
  
I got to her house at about 7:30. It was started to cool off a bit. I hesitated walking to the door, but I went up there and knocked anyways. Her mom answered, and even though there were 5 or so kids screaming their heads off inside, she smiled at me. Guess Cathy had never told here what a jerk I'd been. Behind her, someone came up asking, "Who is it, Mom?"  
  
"Hi, Cathy," I said.  
  
Cathy steeped out, and her mom shut the door.   
  
"Hi," She said.  
  
"Um...do you think we can go somewhere and talk? Are you hungry?"  
  
"Sure, and yes."  
  
"Okay, how about Martha's?" I didn't exactly pick a cool place, but I wanted to talk with out someone like Angela or Curtis or anyone else for that matter messing with us. "Is it okay if we walk? I left my car at my house."  
  
"It's fine. Give me a minute."  
  
She went inside, and I'm not sure why but I started to count. She was back within 48 seconds.  
  
We walked, her dragging a little bit behind, silently. It was a lot like when I was sitting on the side of the road with M&M, except I wasn't shoving chocolate bits down my mouth this time.  
  
"So how..." I started and then stopped.  
  
"Are you..." I began again and shut-up again until we got to that over-rated shack. "Pretty fancy, huh?'  
  
She just nodded and ordered a coke at the front, and I doubled the order. Soon we were sitting there, her sipping and me biting down on my straw. I figured that I should say something now.  
  
"Okay, Cathy." She looked up at me and I kept talking, now a little faster. "You probably know what I'm gonna say." Now slower. "I...I..." Her eyes were focused on me, and I could feel my body shaking along with my voice. "I'm sorry, Cathy. I'm sorry. I'm sorry." I wanted her to hold my hand or something, guide me through this. "First I was freaked out about you and M...and then Mark...Mark..." I guess it would never stop hurting to think about him. "Then I lost Mark...and I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't feel anything. I didn't want to hurt you but I couldn't feel anything. Nothing." She looked down at my now spilt coke. I steadied myself. Still starting intently at the table, she quietly said:  
  
"I lost M&M and you all at once."   
  
I started to cry a little bit. Not sob, just a few burning tears.  
  
"I lost myself. And you. And your brother. And my brother. He hates me Cathy. He hates me. You didn't deserve what I did to you, but I didn't deserve you. I deserve to be hated."  
  
My eyes were searing. I was glad of the dimness of the light. I could hear soft singing somewhere, far off it seemed. But then I realized it was Cathy humming. It was a song I had heard on the radio, before, a song M&M would have liked. It made me think of daffodils for some reason. Hopeful, and sweet. 


	5. Enter Ponyboy, TwoBit, Cherry, Sylvia, a...

hola  
  
disclaimer: i am not S.E. Hinton  
  
so i don't own these characters  
  
(i can only imagine i do  
  
while singing fra-la-la-la-la)  
  
welcome to part whatever of my fic   
  
a chunk of this chapter is in pony's point-of-view  
  
ya'll are probably sick of reading pb fic  
  
but give mine a chance  
  
pretty please  
  
this whole chapter is...different  
  
there is one little un-PG rated thing in her but its tiny  
  
thank y'all for my reviews   
  
i love them so much...  
  
(by-the-by, it's part 5)  
  
___________________  
  
I sat across from her at the lunchtable at school. She was smiling and talking about some book she had gotten from the library. She looked beautiful. I nodded or laughed occasionally, but I wasn't really hearing her. I mean, I don't usually ignore her, I love every word she says, but I was thinking about something deep.   
  
Here she was, chatting like it was last week. Last week when things were perfect enough, but things have starting changing. Bryon has decided to come out of his rut. I understand what he's been through sort of. I tried to talk to him earlier, but he was putting on this tough front. He lost his best friend just like me. And just like me he was freaked afterwards, dazed and secluded. I got out of it and now, so has he.  
  
But's it's different for him. It's his fault Mark is in jail. What had Mark ever done to him that was so bad? Huh? Mark was such a good guy. I really thought me and Mark were gonna become good friends, too, and then Bryon decided to get him locked up. Can't help but think of Dally and guess that Mark's a lot like him (...how he was....bitter and hard...)now. It makes me sick. What's wrong with Bryon...How could you do that to someone you loved?  
  
Then there's Cathy. Now that Bryon has gotten back on his feet he wants everything to be like it was before. But Cathy's my girlfriend, not his anymore. I'm not being a jerk-jealous boyfriend. It's just that I know Bryon is trying to get her back...and...I don't even think she knows that she's falling for him again...  
  
Okay, that's the truth. There I said it. I can hardly stand it. They both like each other. But Cathy is my girlfriend, and I love her. I don't want to lose her.   
  
I have a lot of people I love dead and buried, rotting underneath the ground. How do you think that feels, knowing that? But I couldn't really help losing them.   
  
This time around, I might have a say.  
  
---  
  
Two-Bit looked up and tried to whistle but a bite of his third candy bar was in his way. He was sitting outside of the bowling alley waiting for Steve, wherever he was, when he saw Cherry Valance. Scarfing it down quickly, he proceded to do his delightful wolf imitation. She turned her head, looking for the person she was considering killing. Then she smirked, spotting a goofy face with a hand raised high above it, waving back and forth.  
  
"HI CHERRY!!!" He yelled when she was about 10 feet a way.   
  
"Hello, Two-Bit. How have you been?"  
  
"Dandy, toots. You?"  
  
Before she could answer, a girl shouted "MOVE" and forcibly pushed Cherry out of her way. While they both had strong lungs, this girl did not have the jolly apperance that Two-Bit had.   
  
"Where IS he? Where's Steve?!!!" She demanded to be told by Two-Bit.  
  
He smiled, as he usually did, while Cherry lowered her eye-brows and looked at the girl. She was wearing a very short black leather skirt and a guy's white t-shirt complete with huge pocket on the upper right side. A pack of cigarettes hung out of them.  
  
"Can't you even say hi first? Tsk, tsk, tsk. He should be here any minute, Sylvia." Sylvia rolled her eyes and scrunched up her face. She leaned against the same wall Two-Bit was and starting tapping her foot. Cherry was as mad as Sylvia was.  
  
Two-Bit quickly looked at Cherry and walked over to her. "Aw c'mon babe, you're all right aren't you?" Cherry's eyes blazed. She couldn't stand this girl. She was annoying and rude.  
  
"Didn't even say she was sorry." She mumbled.  
  
Two-Bit could barely here what Cherry said because Steve came up and Sylvia went off screeching again.  
  
"WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM?!!! TELLING EVERYONE MY BUSINESS!!!"  
  
Steve cursed and said, "You're just mad because no guy wants to go out with you."  
  
"YEAH WELL ITS YOUR FAULT."  
  
"It's not my fault you're a..."  
  
Two-Bit and Cherry walked off, sick of Sylvia and Steve.  
  
"Such a lovely pair." Two-Bit said, digging out some crackers from his jacket.  
  
"I'm suprised she didn't break my ear drums. So what's the deal with Sylvia?"  
  
"She was Dally's girlfriend, that's how the gang knows her anyhow." Two-Bit could talk about Dally without getting shaken up. "And Steve has always hated her cause she cheated on Dally." Cherry wondered if what Sylvia did had ever hurt Dally. She thought it was pitiful of herself to still think about him sometimes. It had been years. But she couldn't get the image out of her head made when Ponyboy told her about him falling underneath the glow of the streetlights...Two-Bit broke into her thoughts. "Steve is always telling everyone about how classy she is."  
  
"I gotta go Two-Bit." She mumbled. Crumbs dribbled from his mouth as he said "guh-bye". With Cherry gone, Two-Bit walked back over to Steve and Sylvia.  
  
"Do ya know what would be HILARIOUS?" Two-Bit said amidst their crossfire of cursing. "If y'all went out together!"  
  
Steve switched from going off on Sylvia to Two-Bit. Then he turned back to her, saying, "Even if I didn't hate you I'm going out with Evie and I don't two-time the people I go out with."  
  
Sylvia made a rude gesture.  
  
"Such long fingers." Two-Bit commented. "You could be a hand model, you know."   
  
"Why do you have to sit around annoying people all the time? Why don't you get a job or something you lousy bum?" Sylvia asked Two-Bit, and Steve asked  
  
"What's your job, a prostitute?"   
  
"Wash your mouth out with soap, young man!" Two-Bit told his friend. Steve rolled his eyes and then Two-Bit flashed a dollar in front of Sylvia. She nearly lunged at him. Two-Bit turned and looked through the glass window at the clock inside of the bowling alley. 3:40. He remembered that this was the time school let out, but he couldn't remember what he wanted to tell Ponyboy. Oh well, he thought, go now, think later. He told Steve and Sylvia he had to go, and Sylvia said "good riddance" and Steve pushed Two-Bit away when he tried to hug him good-bye.  
  
-  
  
Ponyboy switched back to listening to Cathy, and then started talking to her.   
  
"You know I love you, don't you?: He told her earnestly.  
  
"Of course I know. You're so sweet, its impossible to forget. Love you, too."  
  
Ponyboy smiled and kissed her on the cheek. He paused, wondering whether or not to talk to her about Bryon right now. He kissed her again, and suddenly someone shouted, "Hey! No PDA on school grounds!"  
  
It was Two-Bit. (PDA=Public displays of affections, really y'all read your school handbooks!)  
  
"Hey what are you doing at the High School?" Ponyboy asked.  
  
"6 years just wasn't enough!" Two-Bit blubbered and pretended to wipe a tear from his eyes.  
  
"Really. C'mon tell me."  
  
"Let me see if I remember..."  
  
"Two-Bit..."  
  
"Give me a dollar..."  
  
"Two-Bit!"  
  
"Okay, come here. It's kind of personal-like. Sorry Cathy."  
  
Cathy furrowed her brows. She briefly thought, Was Pony keeping something from me? Then she nodded. and said "I'll see you around."  
  
"Hold on. How long is this going to take, Two-Bit?"  
  
Two-Bit smirked. "You might want to talk to Darry after I tell you this."  
  
Ponyboy blinked. "Bye Cathy." Then he quickly stepped over to Two-Bit. "What is it???"  
  
"Darry's been keeping some letters hidden from you. They're from, what's his name, the guy in jail, Mark is it?" 


	6. mark's letters, cherry's thoughts, bryon

tehehehe  
  
hope y'all liked the last chap  
  
it will tie together better as I go  
  
and I'm no different than the rest of y'all: I love reviews  
  
even if you don't like it, then review and gripe and/or give constructive criticism  
  
and here is Chapter 6  
  
=========================================  
  
*Pony's outlook*  
  
I took off down the road. I didn't care what else Two-Bit knew. Right then, I wanted to find Darry. I had to see him right then. I couldn't wait. It had to be now.   
  
The mere thought of Darry was agitating and nawing away at my mind as my legs pumped as hard as I could make them. I was ready to belt him. This tells you how crazy mad I was at him, cause no sane person wants to hit Darry. He's got a hard backlash.  
  
What was his deal? The letters are MINE. He ain't got no right to keep my stuff from me. What, did he not want me talking with a jailbird? Darry's crazy if that's whats up. I mean, I hung out with Dally, the epitome of a crook, when I was real little up to just a few years ago...(I shook my head away from the thoughts that come whenever I think of him). Most people I know have been to jail at least once. I'm a greaser for crying out loud. Maybe Darry did it cause Mark was a pusher? I've known drug-dealers before and Dally has just warned me not to do the stuff. I couldn't figure this whole mess out.  
  
I would wait to really think about Mark and what was in the letters after I talked to Darry.  
  
I was in front of our place, barely fit to be called a house, before my anger died down all the way.  
  
I threw open the door and yelled "DARRY!"  
  
Sodapop bent around the wall from inside the kitchen.  
  
"What's with you, Pony? Darry's still at school."  
  
Darry had just got into college at Tulsa University. He had gotten some scholarships and was paying for some of it himself.  
  
"Two-Bit told me about some letters..."  
  
"Awww man..." Soda groaned.  
  
"What! You knew about them, too?!" Ignorning how mad I was, Sodapop mumbled  
  
"He must've heard me and Darry talking yesterday night. That blabbing good-for-nothing..." I was in no mood to agree with him on Two Bit's faults.  
  
"SODA! Who do you think you are? Keeping this from me? I'm 16! I'm your brother!"  
  
"Calm down little ma-, um, Pony. Its not like that."  
  
"What's it like then?"  
  
"Shoot. Sit down."  
  
I sat down, but I was still mad. Being confused doesn't make me happy, I guess.  
  
"Mark was writing you these grissly letters about life in prison. Darry didn't want you to see them."  
  
"I'm not a baby..."  
  
"That's not all. If he doesn't make parole or something soon, we were thinking about busting him out or letting him stay here after he does. Darry didn't tell you cause he didn't want you involved in all the bad, bad illegal stuff. And also you might have telled Cathy cause she's your girl and she might tell Bryon cause you said they were kind of chums now, and you know Bryon can't be trusted."  
  
Wow. This was a lot to handle. I ran my hand backwards through my hair. Mark was gonna be back? I talked like I wasn't thinking of him saying, "Y'all have no faith in me. I...am...your...brother. Get it straight. You can count on me." Really, though, how could I get around this if we really did hide Mark? I was trying to make things better with Cathy, and sneaking around hiding Mark and having to lie to her wasn't gonna make things easier. But helping Mark is more important right now. He could get killed in there. And I'm sick of death.  
  
---  
  
*Cherry*  
  
What do you do when the person you love dies?  
  
You can't bring him back. You are powerless. There is nothing you can do. There is no answer to undo what was done. It is defininte. It is a fact that they are dead and you can't change facts. It is torturous when you can't do anything. You have to keep going with the maddening knowledge of lost love lingering in your mind.  
  
I remember when I was sixteen. My boyfriend was killed. He was ripped from my life. I looked and looked but he wasn't there. He wasn't anywhere on the entire earth.  
  
There had been an open casket. His eyes were shut. I wanted to look into those beautiful dark green eyes. I had grown accustomed to seeing the reflection of myself hopelessly in love in them.   
  
Even when Bob was alive, I had this small crush on someone else. It would never work out between me and Dally. He was the incarnate of all things bad in life as far as I could tell. I had a few little silly fantasies that Dallas would help me let go of Bob and I'd roll my eyes at Dally whenever he did something crazy and then I'd laugh and things would all be okay. Maybe I didn't actually have any legit feelings for Dallas Winston, but it hurt bad when he died. It was the same week as Bob.  
  
That was years ago. Now I'm dating Chance Dixon. He's super nice and he's a football player and I'm a cheerleader at Tulsa University. Things are so great. But I still have these horrible reminders of the past everytime I see Pony or Two-Bit or anyone of them. I don't see any of them too much, and I'm civil and friendly whenever I do, like today when I ran into Two-Bit. I just want to be happy.  
  
---  
  
*Bryon*  
  
I was planning to meet Cathy at the bowling alley after school for a friendly game of what else, bowling. Actually, I thought bowling was real dumb and I just wanted to grab something to eat and talk. I had hung out with her about every other day for the past two weeks. We had so much to talk about, so many things we hadn't got to during those past months. Movies that we wish we would've gone and seen, records that were too expensive to buy, and how much work got on our nerves.   
  
I saw these two people-a guy and a girl-screaming their heads off at each other. Then the girl got sick of it I guess and she backhanded him. Then he grabbed her arm. All of a sudden Angela ran past me, I don't even think she saw me, with stuff falling out of her black leather purse. I don't know what the guy was going to do to the girl, but he didn't get the chance because Angela sprayed him in the eyes with her hairspray. The guy starting howling and then Angela kicked him with her high-heeled boots and then both girls ran off. I don't know what was funnier, the guy getting beat up by two chicks or Angela running in those things. She looked like she was gonna fall and plow into the ground any second. And it didn't help that she wasn't a graceful runner anyways. Her arms flapped around too much. I burst out laughing but then I shut-up because the guy opened his red eyes and looked at me like he was gonna kill me. Or the girls. Or all of us.  
  
I walked past him to get into the door and bit down on my tongue hard so I wouldn't crack up.  
  
The place was small enough. In a second I could tell that Cathy wasn't here yet. I went ahead and got a candy bar and sat down at a table close to a radio. I had heard this song so many times and I hated it, but I knew all the words by now so I mouthed them as the guy sang it.   
  
Looking around, I saw that there was a coin operated pool table here. I hadn't played in about a year. There were two guys playing it right now. One was winning by a long shot. He was so cocky. Reminded me of myself, but I knew I could take him. At least I thought I could, playing pool is like riding a bike ain't it? Can't forget? I wasn't gonna hustle, but I was going to bet.  
  
"Ten bucks says I can beat you." I said to him.   
  
"Ain't no way." He laughed. "I'll let you try, but don't cry when you lose."  
  
"Maybe I'll let you win. You're so ugly you ain't got nothing else going for you."  
  
He cussed at me and said I was just cracking jokes cause I was scared. He told me to quit talking and to break.  
  
I did and I got two solids in. I hadn't forgotten a thing.Then I was about to shoot again. Perfect shot, and then I could swear I heard a gun go off and I missed the ball. Aw, c'mon! I thought, I don't need to be having flashbacks like some guy back from Vietnam. I jerked my head up and let him shoot. After a few more minutes I decided he really was good. He was making some shots it took me years to make. But the fact was, I knew how to make those shots and better ones too, and I won. There was a real nice necklace I saw that I could get Cathy with that money. Then I remembered that she had told me she had to help her mom do something before she came here. I probably had time to go get it now.  
  
I walked outside and heard some guys talking, walking past them, I saw them fooling around with a shotgun. So I wasn't crazy. They were.  
  
--- 


	7. you'd make a great wife, darry

i luv reviews i luv reviews i luv reviews i luv reviews i luv reviews i luv reviews  
  
i don't own the song "Blowin in the Wind" or Batman  
  
deadly, m&m is wearing the same thing around his neck in this fic that he was in the other one where you couldn't tell  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^  
  
*Bryon*  
  
It was a gold necklace. The piece on it was golden leaves connected by curving lines-like wind. That's what I thought when I saw it. It just came to my mind. And I knew I wanted to give it to Cathy because the song she had started to sing that day in the restaraunt was "Blowing In the Wind." She'd go crazy over it, at least I hoped.   
  
The guy at the cashier was Terry. Hadn't seen him around in a while. He stopped coming by after I threatened to beat him up for a stupid reason that I can't remember. I did a lot of stupid things this past summer.  
  
He was nice enough though. I smiled at him and asked how he'd been. I knew he had came back from the war recently. He said he'd been fine, but when I was walking out of the door, I turned and saw him roll up his pants leg. Underneath, he had a prosthetic leg. I knew it hadn't always been like that. I had broken that leg of his when I actually had beat him up when we were in third grade.  
  
"That's why I wear this."  
  
M&M was behind me. I looked at the peace symbol around his neck. He continued on quietly. "He almost bled to death after getting shot in Vietnam when he was delivering medicine to other solidiers. He's so lucky compared to a lot of other people, though. He was able to come home alive."  
  
I closed my eyes for half a second and shook my head.  
  
"See you around M&M."  
  
I walked past him out of the store.  
  
---  
  
She got me to play a game of bowling with her. I lost really bad. I looked over my shoulder to see if the guy I had beat at pool was around. He would've laughed at me. But he was gone.   
  
"I'm never playing that again." I told her firmly.  
  
"Not even if I ask you really nicely?"  
  
"Only if you ask me really nicely."  
  
"Well, I'm not going to use my powers over you right now, I gotta go. Let me have one of your fries first."  
  
I passed her one, dripping with ketchup, and she got some on her nose. I was prepared with napkins; this had happened before.  
  
Eventually...  
  
"I'll see you, Bryon."  
  
I dug my hand into my pocket. "Hold on." And then I stuck it in front of her. Cathy didn't look back up. Just glanced at the box, opened it and smiled a little bit.  
  
"It's beautiful. Thanks."  
  
She closed it and kept it in her hands.  
  
"Thanks." She repeated, heading for the doors as I watched her leave.   
  
"Take it easy." She turned and nodded at me, eyes focused to the side.  
  
I popped the last couple of fries into my mouth and went towards the trash to throw it away. Through the windowI could see her outside on the steps. Someone was talking to her. I was worried and started to walk towards the doors. I mean, there were some real creeps who came around here at night. Actually, they came around all the time. But then I could see it was Curtis.  
  
He kissed her. I took another step, but then I told myself, "Bryon, that's his girlfriend, you know?" I turned my head, but then I looked back. I felt kind of mad. I was going through all this trouble because of a girl, buying her things and thinking about her all the time, really, all the time, and here she was making out with some other guy. Then I guess PB noticed the box in her hands because he looked down at it and then she did and she lifted it up. Yeah, it was stupid, but I walked over to the open window so that I could here them.   
  
"Why didn't you just give it back to him?"  
  
"We're friends, Pony."  
  
"You used to be...in love with him though! You were real serious. Don't you at least see where I'm coming from?"  
  
"If I wanted to be with him I'd be going out with him. But I'm not. I'm with you because I want to be."  
  
Pause. Ponyboy spoke up.  
  
"Forget I said something."  
  
Then they left.  
  
I looked down at the tiles on the floor, and then leaned against the wall and slowly slumped down. Man.  
  
Propped up against the wall, I pulled out a cigarette. I was in the corner, and the workers at this joint wouldn't be able to see me from where I was and get on to me. I might have gone outside, but I didn't feel like moving.  
  
---  
  
*Pony*  
  
It was pretty dark when I came to my house, I was thinking about Cathy, about Bryon, and about Mark. I pushed aside my worries about the first two, and walked inside hoping to find Darry. He was ironing clothes in the living-room while Two-Bit was flopped over the couch watching Batman. Two Bit started singing along to the theme song: "Duh-nuh-nuh-nuh-nuh..." Darry told him to shut-up. "Am I interfering with your household duties? Excuse me. You know you're going to make some person a great wife." Then Darry walked over and held the iron dangerously close to Two-Bit.  
  
I cleared my throat loudly. "Darry, I need to talk to you." Two Bit smiled thankfully and then suddenly said "Crap," remembering what he had done. While getting up, he continued, "I'm going to go now. Remember Darry, I love you."  
  
The door shut behind him.  
  
"I found out about the letters Mark sent."  
  
Darry glanced at the door menacingly.  
  
"Two-Bit?"  
  
"And then I made Soda tell me. Don't you think I should've known?"  
  
"You have enough to worry about. Besides, I wasn't sure if we were gonna help him out at all."  
  
"So you weren't elaborate plotting schemes to break him out?"  
  
"We're not going break him out. That's way too risky. If he does it himself, yeah, we'll give him a place to stay. We've hid plenty of other of people from the cops before. He might be getting out the legal way when he turns eighteen. We'll just have to see." Darry rubbed his neck. "Okay?"  
  
"Yeah." I was hoping he got let out. Last thing I wanted was for the police to catch us hiding him, and Darry to get arrested. He could lose his schoarship.  
  
I went upstairs and lay on my bed, staring at the white ceiling. Mark. He could be completely different. But at least he was coming back, unlike other people I've known. Would he go back to school? Would he run into Bryon? Does he hate Bryon? Then, I thought, "What if he was just gonna try to use me to get back at Bryon?"  
  
Why is life is so complicated? I wondered.  
  
I fell asleep before I had time to become enlightened. 


	8. Chapter 8: 'Ello Markhaven't seen you in...

Welcome to chapter 8  
  
i don't own That Was Then, This Is Now, which is what this is based off of  
  
parts of this fic are pg-13  
  
sort of...  
  
i luv reviews...  
  
thanks so much to all of you who do...  
  
you are truly special...*tear*  
  
-------------------  
  
Things came and went. I was hanging down by the river more, with these guys I met. A few of them used to hang out with me and Mark when we were stupid teenyboppers, and yeah, I knew those ones talked about me behind my back. They hadn't forgotten about Mark. But most of em were cool with me.   
  
Things were still the same down here as they'd been a couple of years ago. People drank too much, did too many drugs, and cheated on their girlfriends. I had a swig every once in a while, but stuck to cigarettes. I was seeing this girl whose last name I couldn't remember, but I think she was the one cheating on me. I'd get around to breaking up with her. Maybe I'd go out with her best friend then.  
  
I saw Cathy every once in a while. We talked some. I made sure not to blow her off and treat her like I did before. I'd invite her to come with Pony to the parties, but she was always busy or something. I didn't expect her to come. Didn't really want her to come, just didn't want to be an a** and ignore her. I didn't feel like chasing after a girl who didn't want me like I wanted her. Not a girl like Cathy, anyways. I actually cared about her, and I didn't want to pressure her into going with me or anything. So I just tried to get on with my life.  
  
I was always really sleepy. I was working overtime at the grocer, spending my weekends with the guys, and the rest of the time doing my school work. I was keeping my grades up pretty good. Today was a Tuesday, and I had just got off of work. I wanted to fall into bed, but I needed to buy some magazine for an English essay, so I was headed to the drugstore. It was getting dark a lot earlier lately, so by now it was pitch black. Pieces of broken glass were lit up by the dim streetlights reflecting off of them. Echoes drifted down the street from the low voices of bums singing songs, inspired by the beer they had just bought with their last dollars and then drank away quickly. I remembered some of the characters like these inside Charlie's bar that he kicked out because it got sick of them being so tone deaf. With a faint smile on my face, I looked at the old bar nonchalantly. A flicker of light streamed through the cracks of the nailed pieces of woods over the windows. Looks like some of those bums had a place to sleep tonight. The door was wide open, too. Guys were so shnockered that they couldn't remember to shut it. I would rather do anything besides work on my school project right then, so I walked over there to see what was going on inside.  
  
The guys inside seemed to be walking around without falling down or swaying too much. One had a bigger build than the other, looked older than me, and had a huge, goofy grin that didn't seem to fit into this whole dark scene.   
  
The other hadn't turned around yet.   
  
"So how much is rent here a night anyway?" I joked.   
  
The one I couldn't really see stopped. He slowly turned around, and his flashlight came with him, light pouring over his features that had been overshadowed moments before. I stopped, too. Not just walking, but even breathing. I knew him. It was Mark.  
  
I could only say one thing.  
  
"F**k."  
  
His mouth transitioned into a sly smile. His eyes were narrowed, but fixed straight on me.  
  
"I can tell you're glad to see me."  
  
He took a step towards me. I had a small blade in my back pocket and grabbed it. I was shaking so much that it swiped my hand. I dropped it.  
  
"What are you doing here?" I asked him, my voice shaking along with the rest of me.  
  
"Thinking about renting out the place. Always loved it. Didn't you, Bryon? Course I'm not 21, but Two Bit here fixes that problem. He'll do anything for free drinks."   
  
The other guy nodded. "Darn tootin'. Bet ya that Darry won't like this whole idea, though."  
  
Mark yawned and stretched his arms. "Screw him. He's Pony's brother, not mine."   
  
What? Had Pony know Mark was coming back? And he f**king didn't tell me? I didn't feel like sticking around and talking to Mark, so I turned, headed to talk to Curtis. I had a few things I wanted to yell in his face.  
  
"Where you going, buddy? Don't you want to hear all about my chipper jail stories?" He kept walking towards me, and then bent over and picked up my fallen knife. He twirled it around in his hands. I stayed where I was, and soon he right beside me, right in my face. I looked at him and then I felt the side of my face burning. He had cut me.  
  
I jumped on him and pulled my fist back and jammed in into his face. Mark kicked me in the stomach, and when I fell over he kicked my face. My mouth filled with blood and I gagged it up on the frame of the door. I looked up at Mark standing over me with the knife still in his hands. My eyes widened barely and then Two Bit stepped in front of him. He pulled at the knife, but Mark held it tight. Two Bit tried again and this time Mark let it go. Mark stepped past me out to the street and Two Bit followed, glanced back at me, and then walked on.  
  
I slowly lifted myself up and tried to wipe some of the blood from my mouth.  
  
-  
  
My face hurt really bad, so I didn't go to school the next day. I had stuck medicine on my face and locked my door so my mom wouldn't come in and ask what happened. Around 5:00 in the afternoon, I heard someone knocking outside my door. I leaned over and looked through the blinds of my window. It was Cathy.  
  
Pushing up the window, I groaned, "Hold on."  
  
I stuck my legs on the floor and lifted myself up. I grabbed a comb and went to the mirror in my bathroom. There was dried blood caked all over my face. I ran water over a washrag and went to the door.  
  
I opened it and Cathy stuck her hand over her mouth.  
  
"How could he do that to you, Bryon?" She said softly.  
  
I stepped aside so that she could come in, and we both walked over and sat down on the faded, floral couch in the living room. I pushed a cat off and she took the washcloth and wiped my face with it.   
  
"Pony told me just today that Mark had got out of jail and was staying with him. He said that Mark told him that you two had got into a fight last night, and when you didn't come to school today...I just wanted to know how you were doing."  
  
"I'm okay."  
  
"Bryon..."  
  
"I've been in worse shape a thousand other times. Don't worry."  
  
"Not just about the fight...about Mark."  
  
I twitched.  
  
"I just can't believe he's back. I just started to get used to him..."  
  
"Being gone?" Cathy finished.  
  
"Yeah. I wish he had never came back."  
  
I dug through some papers underneath the coffee table. I brushed some dirt off of it. Mom had been keeping track of his court dates and everything, but I had stopped looking at the papers a long time ago.  
  
"He's insane." Cathy said, headed for the kitchen to rinse out the blood of the rag. She came back, and sat down beside me again.  
  
"I told him I was sorry..." I mumbled. "I went and saw him in jail...I tried to help him...God, I tried." "I know."  
  
She always did. No one ever understood me like she could.  
  
I looked at her. I wanted to tell her that I loved her.  
  
She looked away. "I have to go, Bryon."  
  
She got up and so did I.  
  
"I'll see you around. Soon."  
  
"Okay. Bye, Bryon. Take care."  
  
Before she turned around and left, I noticed she was wearing the necklace I had given her. It looked real good on her. 


	9. mark follows cathy

i just read the rest of Tex by S.E. Hinton, i had left it unfinished months, and months, and months, ago  
  
i saw the crossover in Tex of That Was Then, This Is Now characters  
  
y'all noticed it too right?  
  
i don't wanna ruin it for ya if ya haven't read it...  
  
read Tex if you haven't!  
  
and read Rumble Fish!  
  
and read Taming the Star Runner!  
  
(i just read those, too. RF seemed...harsh to me, Tex is pretty good, and TSR, i liked most of it, but something at the end irked me.)  
  
thanks so much to Deadly Wisteria, for being the one and only to review Chapter 8  
  
oh, and i changed the rating of my fic to PG-13  
  
i got sick of worrying whether my fic was PG rated or not or if it really mattered  
  
yeah y'all this is chapter nine  
  
---  
  
"You went and saw Bryon?"   
  
Pony spoke normally. He was a little worried. Cathy hadn't been hanging around Bryon is a long time, and Pony hadn't had to worry about his relationship ending. And now Cathy's going to see him, at his house even.  
  
"I wanted to see how he was doing. You told me about the fight and he didn't come to school. His face..." Hers seemed horrified. "Mark is a madman."  
  
Whoa. That was his best friend she was talking about. Mark was really his best friend. Where would he would be without Mark? Still moping around his house about Johnny and Dally? Mark got him back on his feet. He owed Mark.  
  
Pony shook his head. "Look, Bryon got him arrested. Got his life screwed up pretty bad."  
  
Cathy's voice sounded angry. "He used a knife on Bryon's face. A knife."  
  
"Think about what might have happened to Mark in jail. He probably got so many knives pulled on him, and probably got beat up so bad so many times you wouldn't believe it. Think about what he had to go through." He said softly.  
  
"Maybe he should've thought about that before he starting dealing."  
  
Pony turned, staring straight at her. "God, Cathy."   
  
They were both quiet, and then Cathy left through the front door. Mark had been quiet, too. They hadn't heard him listening in from the kitchen. He remembered the time when he had heard his parents...they had been talking about him, too.  
  
Mark slid through the back door and came around front. He walked on the opposite side of the road from Cathy, concealed by the night and the fact that passing cars muffled the noises of sneakers hitting the ground.  
  
She stopped for seconds, finally noticing something. Mark stepped out. She easily recognized him. It hadn't even been a year since she last saw him. Her breath stopped momentarily and then raced.  
  
She was still.  
  
"Where you headed, baby?"  
  
She didn't answer.  
  
"Going to, I don't know, Bryon's?"  
  
That's where she was headed.  
  
"I never picked you out as a girl like that..."  
  
"Like what?" She said as steadily as she could.  
  
"A two-timing broad."  
  
"Shut-up." She whispered slowly, and instantly regretted it. His eyes seemed dangerous.  
  
She began to walk away, and then suddenly he grabbed her arm. God, she felt like crying.  
  
"Hey. I'm not done talking to you." He didn't loosen his grip, and his eyes narrowed.  
  
"Mark!" He turned as he was slugged in the face. Bryon was on him, belting him again, and again. Pony, the name having just left his mouth, was running up the street towards them. Pony pulled Mark away from Bryon, and Mark stumbled back.  
  
Pony was shaken up bad. He looked at Mark, and let loose. "What the f**k did you think you were doing? Huh, what the f**k?"  
  
"What was I doing? Look at 'your girl.' Look what she's doing." Pony brushed away his own tears to see that she was crying, too real hard. And she was holding on to Bryon real tight.  
  
Bryon looked up at Pony. And then Cathy did too. It seemed to happen right then...Pony knew that he was never gonna get her back. Never.  
  
Pony took off running.  
  
~  
  
He was running so fast he hadn't seen the car. His body rolled over it, and then the Mustang just drove off. People cared so f**king much nowadays, didn't they? He wasn't hurt bad, but he sure didn't have the strength to run anymore. He had already gone so far, he had wondered what it was gonna finally take for him to stop. He starting sobbing uncontrollably. His best friend tried to attack his girlfriend, and then his girlfriend dumped him for her ex who dumped her before. He loved her. He really did.   
  
Things were good before, and now they sucked.  
  
He attemped to breath slower, trying to calm himself, and after a few tries it worked. He looked up, but everything was blurry, so he wiped his eyes. It was pitch black except for the light of a tv inside the top floor of the apartment, whose alley he had ran down.  
  
Some guy came up to him, probably figured he could take the crying baby. Curis hadn't fought in a real long time, but he felt like doing it right then. He was gonna show that guy he wasn't a wuss. Pony hit him, but the guy was bigger than him, and slammed him down. PB was used to fighting bigger guys, though. He was quick and jumped back up and tried it again. His fists hurt after coming down on the guys head. T   
  
After the guy finally staggered off, PB muttered, "Stupid, I didn't even have anything worth taking."  
  
Pony leaned against the wall and pulled out the cigarettes and lighter he had took out of the man's pockets and lit up. He didn't feel like his usual self, he knew he wasn't acting like his usual self, but then again, it hadn't exactly been a usual night.  
  
~  
  
*Bryon*  
  
I thought about getting up and punching Mark around some more, but it would've been really hard with Cathy hanging onto my arm. I didn't want her to let go, anyways, and I didn't want to let go of her. I had Cathy back.   
  
See, I had seen them and was coming up to them when Pony happened to see them too on the street and yelled, so I figured that was a great time to pounce on Mark. I would've dove than even if Mark hadn't turned, even if he was completely focused and had a knife in his hand or a gun. I didn't want him ever laying a finger on Cathy ever again. His handprint was still vivid on her arm, and his nails, even though they were trimmed, had still dug into her.  
  
I watched as Mark walked away. Slowly, fading away in the distance. I hope he stayed like that. Gone. And to think we used to...I wondered if I hated him now as much as he hated me. That was probably impossible. I couldn't really hate him. Couldn't really hate him, no matter what he did. I choked. Why did things have to be so messed up between us? That's what sucks about life, whatever is done, is done. At least I had Cathy back.  
  
But I wanted my brother, too. 


	10. mark

chapter ten  
  
Dwithouteyes:the crossover Tex/TWT, TIN is really sad, Mark and Cathy alias Miss Carlson are in it, see if you can find it it is sucky "closure" to TWT, TIN  
  
thanks for the reviews!!! love that people are reading my stuff and actually don't hate it!!! if y'all have any ideas to help me out a little bit, i welcome them!!!  
  
sorry that this is so short...  
  
enjoy the fic   
  
``````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````````  
  
He stumbled along the sidewalks, holding his sides as he went. Try to help a guy, huh? Mark thought bitterly, while fishing for keys out of the long pockets covering his dark denimn jeans. Then he remembered that the Curtis' never locked their doors, so he didn't have a key to their place. Not that he would've needed one anyway. (There was always a loose window, an easily jimmied door, always a mistake made by whoever was living in any one of the lousy houses around there, that was like a WELCOME mat to anyone wanting to get in illegally.) Mark was considering going to the house now, before Pony got there, and grab his stuff and disappear. He didn't feel like sticking around those motherf***ers. No one ever appreciated him. He was trying to help! God d**n it! And what did Pony do? Starting yelling at him! Pony was on Bryon's side, Bryon who was taking his girl. BRYON!!! His eyes spotted glass windows, but he wasn't looking to get thrown back in jail again, so he took to slamming his already bloody fist against a decrepid wooden fence. The sight of his raw hand was sickening after a while, so he took off his shirt and wrapped it around it. He was worn out, so he slid in the back door of Charlie's bar and fell asleep on the grafittied floor.  
  
---  
  
He woke up, hearing voices that were not even trying to be quiet. Mark was prepared to fight before he even opened both eyes, but it turned out to only be Pony's makeshift family.  
  
"Where is he?" Was the first thing he heard. It came from Darry, Pony's older brother. Darry was not the first thing he wanted to see in the morning. He could hardly stand the guy. So f**king bossy it was like he had certified papers that he owned you. Still, the guy had let Mark stay with them, so Mark never did anything to upset him. Who cared now? He didn't plan to stay there anymore.  
  
"What the hell makes you think I know?" Darry was a bit taken back at first. Mark had always been suave and likeable before, now he was acting like an a**. Then Darry started to get mad.  
  
"We talked to Cathy..." Sodapop put in.  
  
Mark spit at the mention of her name. Steve gleamed. Mark was his new favorite guy for telling off the w****. He would've gave him a handshake if his hand hadn't been wrapped up and dripping red.  
  
Mark opened his mouth again. "I ain't seen him. He ran off."  
  
"Let us know if you do." Darry said eyeing him.  
  
"Like hell. I don't give a f**k about Pony. Off blubbering some where about his b***h." Soda turned his head. He knew what his brother was going through.  
  
"Lay off of my brother." Darry told him, liking Mark less and less.  
  
"What you wanna fight me?" Mark stood up, his back aching as he did from sleeping on the hard floor.  
  
Darry seemed to consider it, but Two-Bit popped into the bar and gave Darry a noogie. He pushed Two-Bit off and left, with Soda and Steve following.  
  
"C'mon. Let's go get some breakfast." Two-Bit said after a minute, throwing his arm around Mark's shoulders.   
  
"Got any money?" He said yawning.  
  
Two-Bit flashed him a smile. "Now I do."  
  
He glanced at his pocket and then at Two-Bit's hand, and reclaimed the $20 Two-Bit had somehow taken from him. 


	11. the 1st one drunk in Tulsa every morning

thanks for the reviews for my fic  
  
keep em coming   
  
by the by, y'all should check out ski-ming's website @  
  
www.angelfire.com/ok5/outsiders.fans  
  
go and join our merry flock!!!  
  
hope you just fall madly in love with Chapter Eleven  
  
---------  
  
Mark sat on the railing outside of the restaurant, eating his pancakes while syrup dripped off of the styrofoam plate.  
  
"So why aren't you on the manhunt for Pony?" He asked Two-Bit.  
  
"If he ain't home soon you better believe I'll be on my toes."  
  
Mark scoffed at the mere thought of someone not hating PB.  
  
"C'mon man, life's too f**king short to hold grudges over everything. You gonna be mad at him for caring about his girl? Gotta learn to loosen up."  
  
Mark rolled his eyes. "F**k Pony."  
  
Two-Bit shrugged and popped the top off of beer can and tossed another one to Mark. What's better than pancakes and beer? Before TB could lift the murky yet tantalizing drink to his mouth, someone lifted it out of his hands.  
  
He looked behind him at a smiling Cherry. "It isn't even noon yet." She remarked.  
  
"Yeah? Well, I like to be the first one drunk in Tulsa everyday. It's a game I play with myself." Taking it back, he sighed. "Look, you got a hair in it. Guess you're gonna have to buy me another one." He took a gulp of it down anyways and Cherry shook her head. "I still want the dollar. Trying to save up money, you know."  
  
"For what?" She asked, amused at his urge to be responsible.  
  
"Me and Mark here are gonna open up a bar." She turned and looked at Mark for the first time. Two-Bit kept talking. "Yep, now that he's out of jail we're gonna have ourselves a high-rolling bar . Things will be so great there won't be any need to be sober ever again."  
  
"We'll let you drink for free." Mark said while eyeing her.  
  
Cherry huffed at him. "No thanks. And aren't you a little young to be going to jail, drinking, and investing in a bar?"  
  
"You're never too young to have a good time, baby." Mark said, while finishing off his can and crushing it with his hand.  
  
"Bye, Two-Bit." She said straightly, walking away towards her gleaming car at the end of the parking lot.  
  
"Ooh." Mark grinned sharply. "Looks as good as her."  
  
Two-Bit started to open his mouth , but then Mark switched back and asked, "So who actually owns the bar, right now? Do you know?"  
  
"No idea, but..."  
  
"Got any clue where Brittany Wayne lives?"  
  
"What for?"  
  
"She's Charlie's sister."  
  
"Oh. Well I know where she used to live, but I heard she was in a mental hospital."  
  
"Let's find out. If she isn't we'll ask about the title to Charlie's. If she is, we'll find out how we can get you admitted, too."  
  
"Do you think they serve free liquor in those places?'' Two-Bit wondered eagerly.  
  
Mark skidded down the railing. "Come on. Let's go."  
  
~  
  
Two-Bit knocked loudly on the door. When no one answered after the first two seconds, he decided to keep knocking until someone did. And finally he stopped, and looked at the person who answered. It was Brittany, sporting blonde hair with dark brown roots, but seeming fine besides. The moment she recognized Mark though, she shrieked.   
  
"You b*****d! How dare you come here! It's your fault that Charlie's dead, you know that? You know that?"  
  
She started bawling, and Two-Bit gulped, whispering, "Whoa."  
  
Brittany clung to the door while crying, and a woman came up to the door and pulled her inside while saying protectively, "Can't you leave us alone?"  
  
The door shut behind them and Mark and Two-Bit could here lock after lock clicking while they just stood there staring.  
  
"I'm thinking we should probably 'git' before someone comes out and screams it as us." Two-Bit mumbled.  
  
They walked down the pathway out of their yard instead of cutting through their grass like before.  
  
Mark spoke up. "I remember they called and asked me not to come to the funeral. Bryon wasn't gonna go anyway, so I didn't mention what they said to him, cause it would've freaked him out more. Bryon had been talking like it was our fault. And obviously that's what those people thought, too." He paused. "I wasn't the one with the gun, man. I wasn't the one who shot him."  
  
Two-Bit nodded and kept silent and Mark pulled out a cigarette and passed it between the two of them while they kept going down the road to nowhere in particular, just away from the Wayne's house.  
  
"Where are you gonna stay?" Two-Bit inquired meekly. "Not planning to live in abandoned bars all your life, eh?"  
  
"Maybe. But for tonight...you offering?"  
  
"Yeah. No problem, Mummy is working the night shift."  
  
"I'll be out of there before..."  
  
"Nah, it's fine, she won't care. Before we crash, we need to do something tonight. Tonight we NEED to have some fun." Two-Bit was really sincere about that last part. Things were down and depressing too much.  
  
"What's wrong with right now?" Mark asked, flicking the cumulating ashes off of his cigarette, leaving only the burning embers. "Betting Pony's crazy butt still isn't be home. Gotta find the crazy kid, no telling how long that's gonna take. How 'bouts we meet back up in front of the train station around eightish?"  
  
"Why there?"  
  
"I'll let you know then. Like to keep ya guessing."  
  
"Peace out." Mark said, as they split up.  
  
~  
  
*the night before*  
  
Cathy was shaken up. Things had been happening so quick. Mark had come up and...she didn't know what she would have done if Bryon hadn't came. And Pony was there,too, but she knew she loved Bryon. She had never stopped, and she was so scared and she didn't want to hold it in any longer that she had never stopped. It was wonderful yet so strange to be with Bryon again. Pony...she hoped he was okay. She was sad, knowing that it was unlikely they could ever be friends. She had seen him run. He was so upset...  
  
Bryon kissed her on the forehead and gave her a mug (with a picture of a cat on it) of hot chocolate. It was watered down, but she was so cold she drank it all.  
  
She heard rustling outside the door and jumped. She was still jittery. Bryon opened it cautiously, but it was only his mother. Cathy shakedly forced a smile and said, "I guess I should be getting home."  
  
"I'll walk you." Bryon said instaneously. Cathy considered telling him that she would be fine, but knew it would be useless.  
  
~  
  
*back to the present*  
  
Pony woke up, stretching his arms and pushing away leaves and trash that had fallen on him. He noticed his pack of cigarettes were gone, but he had smoked all but one anyway, and it was no wonder they were missing since he had slept outside underneath the stairs of Apartment G. He had woken up five times during the night to loud music, screaming voics, children running up and down and up and down the stairs, and the sun. But he had stayed there, clinging to sleep, until he was so awake he could hardly blink much less close them long enough to drift away.  
  
He sat there for a minute, and then stood up, careful not to hit his hand on the concrete steps. Someone's window was open, and Pony glanced in, looking for a clock but seeing a group of guys instead. He turned when he saw them looking at him, but they shouted and told them they needed another poker player. For lack of something better to do, Pony went inside of the apartment that was as scruffy and ruffled as his own hair was right then. The only thing orderly was the pyramid of beer on the floor that he tripped over before sitting down.  
  
One of the guys sneered at Pony while picking eggs out of his beard and another handed him some cards and told him not to look at them. "We're playing Mexican chicken." He said  
  
"That's not the name of it!" Yelled a girl from one of the rooms, who proceeded to walk into the living room, wearing a ratty robe and brushing her ratty hair, and lean on the guy with the beard. She hit him lightly and complained, "Hey, Rudy, I thought I was gonna play!"  
  
"I told you." He growled. "Men only."  
  
"He's not a man!" She whined, gesturing towards Pony with her foot. "Just some dumb kid you're gonna cheat out of whatever he has on him!"  
  
Someone sitting on a wobbly wooden chair wearing a beat up blue leather jacket smiled, showing off his lovely spring-green teeth. "Nah. We wouldn't do anything like that." He ended his statement with an award-winning belch.  
  
Pony looked over his shoulder at a plate of scraps in the kitchen.  
  
"If I win one game, can I have those?"  
  
"Why not?" They agreed, and started in on the game. Pony used money he had jammed in the bottom of his sneakers. Mark had taught him well, but he still didn't win till the fifth game. It was a small victory for him, cash prizes only adding up to seventy-five cents, but the food came with it and Pony was so starved he ignored the traces of slobber. It was probably only grease. After a while, they began a discussion on their latest drug dealings and Pony looked at the door, frowning at the   
  
locked barrier. Rudy took that look to mean he had a band hand (they were playing 5 card draw now) and went all in. Pony turned away from studying the locks and trying to figure out the quickest way to undo them when he saw that he had won big. Rudy immediatedly stood up and called him a cheater while Pony inched towards the door. Rudy got wise and reached for him, but only managed to swipe part of his shirt. Pony was out of there before Rudy could belt out 5 cuss words.   
  
Pony ran out of the complex quickly, only stopping once because the food was getting to him. He choked it back up and headed towards a gas station, hoping for a pay phone. The change clinked down into the device when he found it, and he dialed his home phone number, but hung up after the twentieth ring. He figured they were probably looking for him.  
  
"I can handle myself." He grumbled.  
  
He could almost hear Darry saying, "Yeah? Who was it just got hit by a car, got in a fight, and was almost trapped in an apartment with nearly seven huge people who could kill him and hide the body and..." Pony sighed, and stuck his hands in his pockets. 


	12. a suprise!

Chapter Twelve  
  
Hello everybody. Thanks to everyone who reads, and most of all my reviewers!  
  
Dolls-Brace yourself before you start looking for that crossover. I could've cried over it...  
  
Deadly-thanks! I can always depend on hearing from you.  
  
News: Project at the ski-ming's website: some of us are gonna write a group fic. If you're interested, go the site. www.angelfire.com/ok5/outsiders.fans  
  
Okay, heres it goes.  
  
---  
  
It was hard not to notice the noise. Anybody within a ten mile radius of the train station could hear the Ford skidding wildly through the gravel, accompanied by whoopping, yelling, and honking. Mark probably would have heard them even if a train had been passing by right then.  
  
Soda was driving, obviously practicing his drag racing. When the truck got closer, it was visible that Two-Bit was leaning over Sodapop, pressing down on the horn multiple times. Darry was yelling at them both. Steve was in the back of the truck, edging Soda on, as he always did, asking "Can't you go any faster?" with one hand holding on tightly and the other with a cigarette calmly dangling from it. The most important question was: "Why hadn't the cigarette gone flying?" But Mark decided to skip over that question.  
  
Two-Bit pushed past Soda and out the door towards Mark. If the window would have been rolled down a little bit more, he might have taken that route. He clapped his hand down on Mark's shoulder, but Mark scowled, eyeing the truck coldly.  
  
"Why are they here?"  
  
"C'mon! I got us some wheels. Much better than trying to stowaway on a train..."  
  
"That was your plan? Try to hide on the train?"  
  
"Yeeeeessss..."  
  
"Trying to get me arrested or something, man?"  
  
"Nooo..."  
  
"Where's Pony? Thought you guys were lookin' for him."  
  
"Yeah. We're gonna meet him where we're going."  
  
Mark rolled his eyes.  
  
"Got any more?" He called out to Steve.  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Got any more cigarettes?"  
  
"Sure do."   
  
  
  
Steve leaned over the side of the truck and tossed a pack at Mark. Catching it, Mark jumped into the back of the truck. Two-Bit grinned and decided to get into the back, too. For one, he wanted to sit with Mark, and two, Darry wasn't about to let him near the horn again.  
  
"Slow it down this time, kid brother." Darry yelled at Soda, who was revving up the engine.   
  
"Say what?" Soda asked, tearing down the road.  
  
Mark managed to ask Two-Bit where they were headed.  
  
"It's a supriiiiise." He told him.  
  
Lighting up, Steve plainly said, "A rodeo."  
  
  
  
~a little earlier~  
  
  
  
Two-Bit had been assigned to stay at the Curtis house in case Pony phoned or popped up. He hated sitting still, but agreed. He turned on the telly, bored out of his mind, to watch the latest adventures of Mighty Mouse, but after 30 minutes Mighty Mouse deserted poor Two-Bit. He ransacked the ice box, but no one had restocked it since everyone had been too busy looking for Pony. Grumbling, Two-Bit plopped back on the couch and fell asleep.  
  
And then there was this weird noise coming from somewhere...was some beautiful blonde calling him? No, all the blondes in the world were right there beside him, feeding him chocolate-and-rum cake...The noise wouldn't stop though...  
  
Opening his eyes, Two-Bit jumped up and lunged towards the phone...picking it up, all he could hear was his own raspy breaths and a dial tone.   
  
"Shoot."   
  
:Ponyboy walked out of the store, the bell tied to it ringing behind him, and began walking. He wrapped his arms in each other and went on stubbornly. He craned his head back at the door and then jerked it back and gritted his teeth. But soon he was redialing the number back inside of the gas station.   
  
"'Ello?" Two-Bit answered eagerly.  
  
"Two-Bit?" Pony mumbled, pushing his hair out of his face.  
  
"Pony? Pony! Thank GAWD! Sorry about before, you know you don't have to mention that to Darry...Where are you? What's up? Where you been?"  
  
"I'm at..." Pony hesitated.  
  
"Everyone's worried sick! Sick! Where ya at? We'll come and pick you up right now."  
  
Pony shifted.  
  
"Um...what are you doing later tonight?"  
  
"Tonight? What's that matter? Where are ya?"  
  
"What are y'all doing?"  
  
"Going to some rodeo out past Gary. Pony, where ARE you?"  
  
"I'll meet you there."  
  
And the line had gone dead. Two-Bit sighed, debating whether or not to stick around and hope for another call or go and find the boys. He picked the latter choice and ran out the door.  
  
On the other end, Pony sighed, too. Maybe Darry wouldn't start yelling at him right in front of a lot of other people. Besides that, Pony still wanted some time away from the gang to think.   
  
  
  
They drove on, enjoying the wind and watching for cops at the same time. The scent of the city faded behind them, and they went on into the lazy yellow country. Two-Bit recounted the episode of Mighty Mouse to Mark, who nodded and breathed out the twisting waves of smoke from his mouth. Steve leaned over the tire hump and talked to Soda a little bit. Darry stayed quiet.   
  
Everyone soon modeled Darry, noticing cars out in the distance.  
  
"A rodeo, huh?" Mark said, thinking of a golden-eyed, traveling man...  
  
"Yes indeedy. It'll be fun. Lots of crazy stunts, beer, and chicks." Two-Bit said reassuringly.  
  
And horses, Soda said to himself, hearing Two-Bit, thinking of days when he rode, thinking of Mickey Mouse.  
  
Buck Merril stood beside another dusty truck, with the radio turned on and up loud, reaching into an ice-box and pulling out a dripping beer.   
  
Darry, Steve, Two-Bit, and Soda all thought of Dally.   
  
Soda swallowed and parked close by. Darry nodded at Buck, and stepped out of the truck. Mark ran a finger over his eyebrow, and then hopped out and reached out for a drink. Steve raised his head and dropped down from the back. Soda slowly clicked open the door and got out. Two-Bit followed.  
  
________________  
  
---So whadja think? 


	13. buck merrill

Merry cheery Christmas, and a bright New Years!  
  
Hope you get lots of pie and that all the lights don't blind you...  
  
And enjoy my fic...  
  
It's chap thirteen...  
  
-  
  
Ponyboy asked for directions and headed towards Gary, walking. He started to think about Cathy again. Cathy. Her bangs that shadowed her forehead, but not covering up her eyes that shown brightly. It wasn't long after she had a falling out with Bryon that he had asked her out. He had thought she was real pretty when he had first saw her....  
  
She came over to him and Mark with Bryon as her date. When Bryon went with Mark to the hospital, he had a chance to talk to her a little bit on the drive to the hospital. It was hard to think of something to say. She was so pretty, and him, never really having a girlfriend. A few girls had flirted with him, yeah, but he never went out with any of them.  
  
He could barely get up the nerve to ask for her phone number, but he did. Did she think he was a loser? Driving her to her boyfriend and then asking her digits? And then at the hospital he had to admit he had hot wired a car. She probably didn't think that was too tuff. But there was something about her...he didn't give up on her. He called her later, but she turned him down. And then Bryon was out of the picture, and Pony fell into it. They started talking, she told them what had happened with Bryon that he hadn't heard from other people. Pony had heard from Two-Bit about Mark being arrested, that Bryon was a narc. And Cathy told him how Bryon boxed himself up, shut her out. They kept talking, easing Bryon out of their conversations and finally it was just them two. Ponyboy Curtis and Cathy Carlson.  
  
And now it was over. Would she stay in his head forever? Another lost person to add to his tormenting dreams? Pony wouldn't let her. He loved her, but he would make that love past tense. She didn't rule him.  
  
"So that's it." Pony breathed, shuffling his feet among the dust. But it was such a long walk. The sun streamed into his eyes, so he held one hand above them. The road was mostly empty, no one was around. Just him and his thoughts. Cathy threatened to enter into his mind again, but he pushed memories of her and her deadly smile away. Pony forced himself to think of what to say to Darry.  
  
Darry. One mention of him and Cathy was instantly lowered in importance among Pony's battling thoughts. Darry would yell. Darry would scream. Darry would pound into Pony's head his stupidity and ignorance. And what would he say? Pony didn't feel like saying anything. Let Darry just think he was plain dumb. Pony didn't feel like explaining himself. He was sixteen, entitled to his own solitude.  
  
******  
  
Mark popped the lid up and let the venomous liquid slide down his throat. The taste was soothing, pushing away thoughts almost hurtful of his father. Darry of course didn't take a can, and Two-Bit of course did. Steve took a swig of Two-Bit's and Soda lit up Steve's last cigarette.   
  
Buck stood there, leaning against the truck, scratching at his scraggly beard. He eyed them with a laugh. Soda took another puff, the laugh edging at his nerves.   
  
"How have y'all been? Haven't seen y'all's a**es since around when Dally died." Soda closed his eyes, with Buck's slightly slurred voice continuing on.  
  
"Yep, do you have any idea how long it took me to find a new jockey?" Soda dropped the cigarette.  
  
"Stupid f**ker owed me a couple dollars, too. Almost couldn't afford a beer one day cause of that."  
  
Suddenly Soda lunged at him. Buck was slammed against the side of the truck as Soda began tearing away at Buck's face, Darry pulled Soda off of Buck pretty quickly, and Buck slid down against the tires. Darry held Soda up by the arms as Soda began to shake.  
  
"Crazy b**stard." Buck muttered. Mark threw his can at Buck's head, stirred by the word Buck used. Steve and Two-Bit looked away from Soda to see a few guys and a broad sauntering towards them.  
  
They were obviously Buck's friends. Lazily singing some twangy song, they were dressed in fringed jackets and dirty cowboy boots. The girl suddenly shrieked and pointed at Buck, and the hicks gave a twisted smile.  
  
"Gawd." Two-Bit sighed.  
  
Darry tilted up Soda's chin. "You gonna be allright?"  
  
Soda pushed his hand away and stood up straight. "Yeah."  
  
"We don't need this." Darry mumbled. "C'mon, let's get out of here. Split up and find Pony."  
  
Steve popped his knuckles, but headed towards the crowd of people up the road. Darry lightly pushed him when Steve turned his head over his shoulder to glance at Buck's friends. "What if they mess with your truck?" Steve asked Darry loudly.  
  
"We know where to find them if they do. Buck's friends are always hanging around his house on the weekends. Just find Pony, all right?"  
  
Steve shrugged, "Suit yourself."  
  
The group walked towards the fenced in areas where some people were saddling up their horses.  
  
"Meet back here." Darry said, disappearing around the fence.  
  
"Think we'll find him?" Two-Bit asked, peering at the people who seemed to be sprawling out for a mile.  
  
"Who cares?" Mark snorted, finishing down his second beer he had took from Buck. Mark crushed the can with his foot and walked off towards a group of girls.   
  
Soda started to call out Pony's name and Steve walked beside him, doing the same but not so loud.  
  
Soda stopped for a second and looked at Two-Bit. "Are you gonna help?"  
  
Two-Bit's eyes were focused on a girl giggling while flipping her waist length hair and sitting on a wooden fence.  
  
"Two-Bit?" Soda questioned again.  
  
"Huh? Oh, Pony'll turn up." Two-Bit winked at the blonde and she giggled so hard that she almost fell backwards, in a minute, she did.  
  
"Two-Bit, you ain't gonna help? That's what we're here for." Soda pleaded.  
  
"Sorry, guys, somebody needs me more right now..." Two-Bit stared ashamedly at the ground for deserting his friends for a split second, and then rushed wildly to scoop up that topsy-turvy blonde.  
  
Steve glared at Two-Bit's back.  
  
"It's okay." Soda said with a small frown. "Pony'll turn up."  
  
-----  
  
Pony had hitched a ride from a man wearing a dusty red cowboy hat. He managed to say thanks, and pulled himself out of the car. It took a lot of Pony's strength just to lift himself up and out, his legs were aching so bad. If a cop had tried to give him a drunk test, Pony would've failed because he definitely couldn't walk a straight line right now.  
  
Pony was let out beside a red metal fence, where inside a few guys were hauling barrels.  
  
"Sixteen feet exactly." One yelled, holding up his unraveled tape measure.   
  
"I thought there were supposed to be fifteen feet between them!" Another yelled back, confused.  
  
"At least fifteen, Jack. At least, just do what I tell you to!"  
  
Pony had a good guess at what they were doing: Setting up for the barrel races. With a bit of hope he began to quickly scan the people standing around. He held his breath and finally took a drink of air. He could see her, arguing with someone about which horse she was gonna ride while putting up her hair. Her gorgeous red hair. It was Cherry Valance. 


	14. pony and cherry talk & fixing races

Chapter Fourteen  
  
y'all check out skiming's  
  
www.angelfire.com/ok5/outsiders.fans  
  
come on in and enjoy what's there and help make it better  
  
please review, y'all  
  
check out my poems on fictionpress.com  
  
pen name=hollywoodlately  
  
and check out my fave quotes (they're great) and cool facts  
  
by clicking on my name and reading my little bio-thingie  
  
love and peace and jazziness  
  
---  
  
It was darker than it should have been at that time because the sky was filling with shadowed clouds. And yet, Mark and Two-Bit were seeming to have a good time. Two-Bit had his arm around a blonde, and a calico-haired girl had both her arms around Mark's neck. For some reason, Mark turned his head from the girl in front of him and said, "Two-Bit? I got to ask you something."  
  
Mark's girl looked confused that he was talking to some guy when Mark had her right in front of him. She almost gasped when he kind of pushed her a side and walked towards Two-Bit, who was giving Mark a strange look, too. With a sigh, Two-Bit left the blonde to walk over to Mark.  
  
"What was Dally?" Mark jutted out.  
  
Two-Bit cleared his throat. "Huh?" He really didn't feel like talking about that...  
  
"What did that guy say he was, a jockey?"  
  
"Oh, oh, that. Yeah, Dally was a jockey."  
  
"And Buck?"  
  
"Buck rides a little but mostly just fixes races, makes money off of bets."  
  
"Hmm."  
  
"I'm gonna go get a drink, I think...yeah. I'm gonna go get a drink." The blonde spoke out.   
  
"Get me one, too." Replied the calico, digging into her pocket. "I thought...maybe I already spent it..."  
  
"Gotta go." Mark said, plunging into a crowd of people. Two-Bit looked back at the dazed girls and then followed Mark.  
  
_________________  
  
"PONYYYYYYYYY! PONYBOY! P-" Soda had been speeding through all the people, pushing people in his way, but now had to stop and cough hoarsely. His leaned over his head, but speedily snapped back up, and took a step forward before Steve, standing still, grabbed Soda's arm.  
  
"C'mon, you've been looking for an hour. Take a break."  
  
"I gotta...find him." Soda somehow kept talking. "Make sure he's all right. Find him before Darry does."  
  
"Why are you always babying him?" Steve complained, feeling up his own pockets and not finding any packs of cigarettes.  
  
__________________________  
  
Pony stared out her, watching golden flickers skipping through her hair. His gaze drifted up to her face. Her hair was something, but her face...Pony's eyes lingered, refusing to pull away, hoping that she would glance around and suddenly see him...A few girls were around her, prodding her with their questions while she continuted to argue with the man. Pony stopped listening to what they were saying and just stood there, begging silently for her to notice him...  
  
"Aaagh!" With a yelp, Pony jumped. He had just been shocked with something that felt like a cattle prodder or an electric fence. A lot of people were looking at him funny. Blushing, he tried to explain himself.   
  
"Sorry, I...I..." Well, what happened? His hand, it...He looked at his hand, but the lines weren't telling him anything so he looked at what he had set it on. It was a lamp post. Pointing to his hand and then to the lamp he muttered out the word "shocked" and then turned his head away from those still staring at him like he was a freak.   
  
Then he jerked his head back up towards where Cherry was. Her head seemed to turn just as he looked at her. She saw him. And then she just kept talking to her friends. Just kept talking, first about the horse (she finally got her way) and then about some cheer. Like she hadn't seen him.  
  
Pony started to think. He hadn't realized this before. Cherry hadn't really talked to him since that week. She had called once, and then she hadn't been in town after her parents sent her to boarding school for a while, and then she was in college. Ponyboy had continued on in high school, hung out with Mark for a while, and then gone out with Cathy. Cherry had seen him around, smiled, and then had some place to be or not much to say. Pony had considered her a good friend he had lost touch with.  
  
But just now, she ignored Pony. What happened to her?  
  
Pony couldn't get it. Had she decided greasers were trash after all? Did she forget everything that went on? Had she decided to be a snob now?  
  
He couldn't stand this. "Cherry!" He yelled out. More stares. He didn't care. He wanted to scream at her. Her friends mumbled and Cherry stood there, still not looking at him, and she turned her back. She turned her back.   
  
"Cherry!"   
  
She turned. "What do you want?"  
  
Damn.  
  
Pony stood there, with his mouth barely open, his eyes staring at her cold figure, his legs feeling heavy, his head hurting...everything hurt.  
  
Cherry's mocking look fell. "Oh, Pony, I don't know what I'm doing...." She started crying. "What's wrong with me? I'm sorry...."  
  
Her friends looked confused and stopped talking for the first time all night.   
  
Cherry grabbed his hand and led him to the edge of the gate and they both slid underneath.   
  
Finally one of the girls called out, "Cherry, you got to gear up for the race!"  
  
But they kept going, away from everybody else.  
  
The noise that is a rodeo faded behind them as they walked down the side of the fence. Cherry made her own noise, letting her fingers tap against the metal. The fence ended, but there was hay even out here though, and it crunched underneath them. Finally satisfied that they were far enough from other people, Cherry began to talk.  
  
"I wanted to get on with my life. I went to college, Pony. Didn't you move on?"  
  
"Yeah, I moved on. But so what, you've been busy, I've been busy, but I wouldn't act like I didn't know you to impress a bunch of snobs. Cherry, I thought you were better than that. We moved on, but I didn't forget. You're acting like none of it mattered. Did you forget everything that happened to us? How are friends died? What, you've forgotten that I'm not trash, Cherry?"  
  
"It's not like th-...oh, Pony. I don't know what I'm doing really. It...it hurts Pony."  
  
"God, do you think that I don't know that? But still, Cherry..."  
  
"It hurts. It was all I could ever think about...I didn't know what to do. I wanted things to be normal...My parents did, too, I went to boarding school and wanted to start over, but all I really did I guess was to try to make things the same. Try to fit it, and stop hurting. "  
  
"So you decided to screw us over?"  
  
"I've tried to talk to you guys, even though my parents didn't want to me to. I talked to Two-Bit a few times, he's so funny, but still, I ended up almost breaking down both nights after I saw him. And it was only Two-Bit, he was there, but not like you were...And just now...I wanted to pretend you weren't there or that I didn't know you." Pause. "You scare me Pony."  
  
______  
  
"So you betting on what ever Buck's betting on?" Two-Bit craned his neck towards Mark as he shuffled behind him towards the main arena.  
  
"Nah. Buck's not gonna win everytime, he's gotta keep up appearances, and people aren't always gonna listen to him, and Buck may be too drunk to even know what to bet on."  
  
"Yeah, so what? You gonna rob someone who's been winning a lot?"  
  
"They'd be able to track us down, get their whole crew set on us. If we want to win, we gotta fix things ourselves."  
  
_____________ 


	15. darry finds pony

y'all check out my short fics i stuck up please  
  
title: thoughts by the minority  
  
chapters: mrs. carlson, johnny's mom, and angela  
  
title:post-Johnny  
  
chapters: pony and what johnny's parents do  
  
title:rusty to steve  
  
summary:thoughts by rusty from rumblefish  
  
sort of aimed at his friend, steve  
  
^^^^^^^^^^  
  
whoo-hoo  
  
a whole fic about pony  
  
read, review, &  
  
enjoy chappie number fifteen  
  
___________________________  
  
Cherry had her arms wrapped around herself, her shoulders brought up towards her head that was sagging. Cherry was usually so strong-willed in Pony's memories of her, but here she was now, just weak and troubled.  
  
"You remind me of everything, so much stronger than anything or anyone else could. When I see you, I can see it all Pony, I can see us sitting in the chairs in front of the movie screen, us laughing about the Beatles, but Pony, I can see Bob, Dally, Johnny..."  
  
Pony could see it all too right now...  
  
"Pony, I can see the coffin. Bob's coffin, it was black and he was wearing a suit..." Pony could see Johnny's coffin, but his clothes were a little faded. His mother couldn't believe he was dead. That's what was said by the older people, but all the people who really knew Johnny's mother knew that she wasn't gonna cry and mess up her mascara. And Dally, only his ashes were buried. His parents wouldn't go through the trouble of buying a coffin.  
  
Cherry brushed her hair, sticky with tears, out of her face.  
  
"I'm sorry, Pony, but I can't handle it. I thought I could handle anything, but I can't."  
  
"Cherry, why do you think you're telling me all of this stuff? Why don't you let loose to some fancy psychiatrist or one of your friends and just tell me to get lost?"  
  
"I...Pony, you should know. You should know how horrible I am..."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"You're the sweetest boy I've ever known."  
  
"Do you care about me?"  
  
"Of course I care about you."  
  
"Then don't do this to me, to yourself. Do you want to forget me? If you forget about what happened to Bob, to Dally, to Johnny...you got to forget me. Look at what you're doing. Cherry, you got to stop yourself. You have to just deal with it. Cherry, look what you're doing....don't do this."  
  
"I..."  
  
"Cherry..."  
  
"God....I'm sorry, Pony, do you know how much it hurts...Look what I did, Pony! Look what I've done! You're better off without me."  
  
"Shut-up, Cherry."  
  
"Oh, God....its my fault, why am I so stupid?"  
  
"I forgive you, Cherry. Back then, the world sucks sometimes and that's why things like that happened. And the way you've been, its just you wanting to pretend that world isn't like that. But now, you have to stop this Cherry, cause you know how things are, and you just got to live with it. I know you Cherry, I know you can handle this, and I'll be there when you need help, okay?"  
  
"Thank you."  
  
Ponyboy lay down on the hay. His propped up his hands underneath his head, and he begam searching for stars among the clouds.  
  
"It's all right." He said slowly.  
  
She sat down beside him and lay back.  
  
"Its so strange." He said. "How things were. Do you still listen to the Beatles?"  
  
She smiled.  
  
"I better go and find Darry." Pony said, sitting back up."I have to deal with some stuff. I'll see you around though, won't I?"  
  
"I'll be around. Oh, there's a star, you see it?"  
  
"Yeah. Beautiful."  
  
____________________  
  
Pony sat down, chewing on a piece of beef jerkey. Everything was so loud. The Curtis house in the morning had nothing on a rodeo.  
  
He took a bite everytime he heard someone say "yee-hah."  
  
He went through the piece pretty quick.  
  
Even though Pony wanted to see someone ride a mechanical bull, he wanted to sleep more. That meant seeing Darry though. Man, it might be easier if Pony would never go home.  
  
The sooner Dary screamed at him, the sooner Pony could go to sleep, though. With this in mind, Pony stretched and got off his bum. He barely had to walk before Darry was right in front of him.  
  
"Hi." Pony said.  
  
"I've been watching you for a while. Wondering how long it was gonna take for you to actually look for us."  
  
"I was doing it right now." Shoot, Pony cringed, I'm gonna get chewed OUT.  
  
Instead of saying "I'll bet," Darry said: "I wanted to give you space, but I didn't want you to try to ditch us either and run off somewhere again."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Pony, remember how Soda ran off when he was mad about Sandy and us fighting? Well, you just did the same thing, only you didn't have anyone to keep you from getting too far. You can guess yourself that we were worried about you, and don't go doing this all the time. Circumstances permit this. No running off to party and not coming home for days, though. You know that. Sorry about Cathy, Pony."  
  
Darry said it all calmly.  
  
Finally, Pony said: "Thanks." And then: "Sorry."  
  
Darry looked at his watch. "I'm not sticking around. Let's round up the boys."  
  
That would take alllllllllllll night. 


	16. steve gets his butt kicked

Oh, oh, I'm watchin "I love the 80's STRIKES BACK: 1986" and apparently C. Thornton Howell or whatever, our beloved Ponyboy, starred in this movie called "Blackface" where this white guy (C. Thornton) tries to make himself seem black so that he can get into Harvard easier. It's supposed to have its funny parts but is none-the-less racist...............  
  
OOOOOOHHHH! I'm still watching this same episode, and they just did something on Rob Lowe, a.k.a. Sodapop!!!!! I LOVE "I love the 80's"!!!  
  
________________  
  
Man, Deadly, things are getting awful lonely around these here parts. You're the only one who's been reviewing me. If you weren't reviewing........  
  
I'm glad I got ya, DW. I'm glad that you like my fic still! If there's anything you feel like flaming though, do it. Any input is input wanted. If any one else is reading my fic, drop a review please.  
  
So, Deadly and whoever else is out there, here's my next installment of Dead Flowers:  
  
It's Chapter Sixteen.  
  
________________________________  
  
Two-Bit bit down on his piece of wheat stuck in his mouth. Try as he did to be a cowboy sometimes, Two-Bit was not one. If he was, maybe he and Mark wouldn't being doing such a lousy job at fixing a horse race.  
  
It was getting to be where you had to be a rider yourself or you had to know a rider to fix the race. The rodeo hands were getting quite good at sabotaging the sabotagers. Saddles were wiped off over and over again, thwarting hopes of greasing one to make it slippery. The dusty tracks were combed over for tacks and sludge, and horses were guarded precariously. There had been this one time when a guy from Alabama snuck into the stables, shoving a tranquilizer into a quarterback. Right after the starting gunshot split through the air, the poor horse sagged to the ground groggily. Needless to say, the foreigner ended up making money for getting the horse out of the way. Soon, the men organizing local rodeos were getting wise on the fact that gamblers would stop betting their money on games if they knew they were always rigged. And when there is no money spilt, there is no money made, and a lot of people would quit coming to these rowdy cowboy gatherins'. So rodeo hands were trained as well as the horses and Mark and Two-Bit were plum out of luck.  
  
"How much do you think the hands get paid? We could bribe 'em."  
  
"Now you're thinkin...like an idiot. We don't got the cash to pay anyone off."  
  
"Don't get mad at me cause you almost got caught and had to run out of the stables. 'Sides, what would you of done, kilt a horse?"  
  
"Maybe."  
  
"Soda would've killed you if he found out."  
  
"Soda wouldn't of been able to lay a finger on me. And how would he of known? You'd of told them? You're always running your mouth and you especially tell them everything."  
  
"Yeah well, you're getting quick to use your mouth lately, too, except you've just been plain mouthy. And why are you saying 'them' like they're so bad? They're my friends, and they used to be yours, too."  
  
Two-Bit thought: It was last year when the gang had met Mark. In the same grade and hanging around the same local haunts, Pony and Mark became friends, and so Mark started to drop by the Curtis house every once in awhile. At first, just to talk to Pony, but Mark ended up getting to know all of them. Mark fit into the group nicely, but no one else could ever be one of them. One of the gang. Darry, Two-Bit, Steve, Soda, Pony, and once Johnny and Dally. How could you be one of em, if you didn't know Dally or Johnny? You couldn't. They were all violently binded together, forever. "What was left of the gang" and the fallen members were eternal, and couldn't be interfered with.  
  
Mark was however, an outsider that the gang had liked, but now, not even that. While dark clouds shifted into Two-Bit's eyes, Mark gave his reason.  
  
"Well, things have changed since I've got back."  
  
Two-Bit digested this, after thinking about the group and slipped his piece of over-rated grass out of his mouth. Mark had slipped. Things hadn't just changed, Mark had changed.  
  
Mark wasn't used to Two-Bit's quietness, and desperately-because of a sudden craving of normalcy, not niccotine-asked him if he had any Skoal on him. Two-Bit dug it out of his pocket and tossed it, and then stood up, out of the hay then had been sitting on. Mark stood up, too.  
  
Looking at him, Two-Bit grinned.  
  
"You got hay all over your butt. I'd get it off, but hey, I don't lean that way. I don't get my kicks wiping off your tucus."  
  
"You sure, cause I didn't think you were really into that blonde you were with earlier, and she was hot."  
  
"Oh trust you me, I, too, believed in the supreme hotness of that glorious, awesomely blonde broad. Fruitiness is more Steve's thing."  
  
"I suspected."   
  
"No, you wished. I know what you've been thinking about him."  
  
"Why were you looking at my butt anyway?"  
  
"Changing the subject? It's official, Evie has competition!"  
  
"It'd be for the first time. Not good with the ladies is he?"  
  
"Because Steve's GAY, do keep up."  
  
"I'M WHAT???!!!" Steve bellowed, knocking Two-Bit on the head. "You keep it up, and I'll hit you so hard..."  
  
"No," Mark, originally startled by Steve and Soda-Pop, and now back to making remarks, "You'll kick him so hard he'll be a hermaphrodite. You need to work out more, TB, you're close to having boobs. If Steve get's a good swift kick in, you'd be, like half-and-half then."  
  
"What's a hermaphrodite?" Soda asked.  
  
"Guess you should have stayed in school, Soda."   
  
Mark got a hit the twin of the one Two-Bit had just gotten. Two-Bit kept Mark from hitting Steve back because Mark had definitely deserved a good smacking. In fact, Two-Bit was almost wanting to hit Mark himself. Mark's remarks were too rough. He had started in on Two-Bit in their earlier spat and after the pause, ended up doing it again while they were joking around. It was like he couldn't stop.  
  
But, this was how Mark was now, Two-Bit remembered.  
  
"How late is it now?" Soda wondered aloud while he rubbed his legs.  
  
"Shoot, it's eleven." Two-Bit said, tapping the plastic cover of his watch. Mark grimaced.  
  
"We wasted all that time and we didn't make any money?"   
  
"What'd you say?" Soda asked.  
  
"Well, we got that bill you took off the calico." Two-Bit said.  
  
Mark snorted."Besides that, nothing."  
  
Soda pleaded."Hold up, what are y'all talking about?"  
  
Mark brushed Soda off and then whined a little."It's nothing. Yeah, man, I need the cash."  
  
"Y'all've been gambling instead of looking for Pony?" Soda said, outraged.  
  
"Mind your own d*** business." Mark snapped.  
  
"We're getting tired of you." Steve said, lowering his eyes.  
  
"F**k off."  
  
"You wanna fight?"  
  
"Ten bucks that I can whip you."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Yeah, I want to beat your a** and I'll bet you ten dollars that I can. Do you know how much ten dollars is, Soda? Did you learn how to count that high?"  
  
Steve through a ten on the ground and lunged at Mark. Both of them were on the ground, flailing against the hay, digging it up with their writhing bodies to reveal the dirt underneath. Soda and Two-Bit stood there, dumfounded for a second and then rushed to pull Mark and Steve, both on their feet now, apart. Dust flew into Soda's eyes and he yelped, wandering blindy and bumping into Two-Bit who tugged at Steve's sleeve vainly. Steve hit him back with one hand, making Two-Bit lean backwards into Soda and making them both fall. Two-Bit snorted as dirt when up his nose and he hit at it while coughing.  
  
Steve's main tactic was to punch and to punch hard. Mark ducked one punch and grabbed Steve's hand, pressing down on a pressure point below the web of the thumb. Steve reactively pulled his hand away and Mark twisted it the other way, wrenching his wrist painfully. Sucking in the cry he wanted to let out, Steve kicked Mark in the calf and then aimed for his face but hit his neck. Mark stumbled forward, but while Steve came up behind him, Mark tripped him and then kicked Steve in the head. A few more kicks in the face and Steve rolled through the dust and picked up a few washers and placed them between his knuckles. Mark was able to spot a can of coke and ripped it down the middle, baring a jagged metal edge. Going for each other, they went for each other's jawline. The washers came loose from Steve's fingers as he jammed his fist at Mark while Mark hit Steve's arm with one hand and sliced Steve's face with the other. Steve was bigger, older, had fought longer, but had never had to stay awake at night in prison, waiting for an attack by one or more of the monsters in your cell, knowing that there was no way you could be helped by anyone else, and swearing that you won't let them take you down....  
  
Steve fell to Mark's quick and savage fighting. And Mark just picked up Steve's ten dollars and walked off. Soda and Two-Bit had been mistakenly pulling at each other through sneezes, not being able to tell that it was each other and not Mark or Steve. Steve nudged them with his foot and told them to stand up and stop acting like imbeciles. Limping for a few minutes, Steve was mostly all right. All that hurt was his face, and he poured some beer(bummed it off a rodeo hand) on it to disinfect it. Then, Steve drank some himself to help numb the pain.  
  
"I hope I never see his sorry face again," Steve mumbled.  
  
"You will," Two-Bit hesitated. "I'm going to go find him later."  
  
Soda gave Two-Bit an astonished look and put his hand on Steve's shoulder. "Did ya see what he just did?"  
  
"It happens all the time. Let's find Pony first. That crazy kid."  
  
Steve took another drink of his beer while Soda scrunched up his face. "Man, when Darry finds him, he's gonna explode."  
  
"And why shouldn't he? We've been looking for him for the past twenty-something hours. He runs off and then he makes us come all the way to Gary to pick him up, and then we can't even find him. Watch, I wouldn't be suprised if he didn't show."  
  
Soda shivered. "Make me even more worried sick, why doncha'? What if we never saw him again? What if somethin's happened to him. I don't care how tough he is, the world's tougher than him and he could be dead already. "  
  
"He shouldn't'a ran off."  
  
"Think what happened to him. Jeez, did you not even listen to what Darry said Cathy told him when Darry called her the other night? Cathy was his girl..."  
  
Steve looked at Soda and then shifted. "Aw, we'll find him."  
  
"Yeah, well he might run off again if Darry gets to yelling at him."  
  
"I didn't remember rodeos bein so big, why in tarnation haven't we found him yet?!" Two-Bit complained, getting tired of walking around.  
  
"I'm suprised you can remember anything about rodeos, you're always getting drunk at them." Steve said, sipping at his beer a little slower.  
  
Soda looked around as all three of them walked through a screaming crowd by the mechanical bulls. With lungs as strong as any of the spectators, Soda yelled out so his buddies could here him."There's a lot of people here, took us forever just to run into you and Mark."  
  
Two-Bit, a natural loud-mouth, easily yelled back, "Hey! I think I see Pony, and Darry's with him!"  
  
----  
  
The gang, barely having the chance to enjoy the spectacles of the rodeo, were headed back to the truck after they joined up. Soda gave Pony a hug and tried to twirl him around, and then stood in front of him protectively while eyeing Darry suspiciously.  
  
"It's all right," Pony assured the middle-child of the Curtises after intuitively understanding what Soda was doing. "We already talked. And its all right."  
  
"You didn't chew him out?" Two-Bit asked, poking Darry, who answered,  
  
"Nope."  
  
Steve's coughed. "Why not?"  
  
Why was Steve always like this?  
  
"Did you want him to yell at me?" Pony scowled.  
  
"Maybe you deser-" Steve started, but cut himself short after Soda gave him a viscious look.  
  
Pony leaned on Soda while they walked. "I'm so tired..."  
  
All of us are cause of you, Steve thought nonsympathetically..  
  
"Is that why your eyes are blood-shot?" Soda asked, "You haven't been drinking have you?"  
  
"No," Ponyboy said with a yawn. "I don't do that."  
  
Darry knew Pony wouldn't drink, but..."Pony, where did you stay last night?"  
  
"I thought we were through with talkin' about yesterday, Dar."  
  
"I didn't say that. I said I understood you running off, and I'm not mad, but I want you to know that you need to be careful."  
  
"We get concerned about you, honey." Soda said while pinching Pony, who let out a small sound of pain, on the arm. Pony had kept his mouth shut before when Soda had given him a bear-hug (it hurt his sore sides), but had forgotten to do it again just now. Soda hadn't even pinched him very hard."You baby." While saying that, Soda pushed back Pony's sleeve and made a louder noise than Pony had. There was a large, ugly purple bruise covering it."What happened last night?"  
  
  
  
Hmmm...he got hit by a car...got in a fight...slept on the ground...Pony didn't say anything.  
  
"That's it. Pony, I know you had to deal with Cathy...I'd tried to be calm about this...but you shouldn't of ran off like that. You could've gotten hurt worse than you did. I don't even know how bad you're hurt. Do you have more bruises? Do you?"  
  
Pony shrugged. The relief he had felt earlier drifted away and the agony ensued of accounting for last night.  
  
"Pony..." The gang had stopped walking and Darry clenched his teeth. "I don't know what to do. I...oh, blast it, don't do it again."  
  
"I don't go and disappear all the time, do I? Can't I have a little time to myself?"  
  
"Yeah, well, I'd rather you have alone-time somewhere closer to home and not be wandering the streets. I'd rather you try to be rational even when things are rough." Darry spoke softer. He was trying, for Pony, for Soda. And even for himself. He didn't want something to happen like it had before, when his temper got out of control, but he also knew that Pony needed control, too. Darry wasn't a father, and he didn't always know how to handle things. But he tried.  
  
Pony knew Darry wasn't perfect and Pony was getting better at listening to Darry. They didn't talk about it any more. It was, throughout the ramblings that had the intention to mean something, understood that Pony wasn't in trouble, but Darry didn't want Pony to be reckless.  
  
"What happened to your face?" Darry said, moving from interrogating Pony to Steve.  
  
"Got in a fight with Mark," came the gruff answer.  
  
Pony propped himself against the truck as they reached it. Mark. Mark. Cathy...  
  
"Oh yeah...I gotta go find him." Two-Bit piped up. "I'll be back in a jiffy."  
  
The gang didn't have time to object as their light-headed friend ran out of the make-shift parking lot back through the gates. They were soon complaining as they piled into the truck. Darry and Pony sat in the seat up front and reclined back their seats as far as they would go and Soda and Steve laid down in the back. They were dead tired. Hadn't Two-Bit heard Soda earlier? It was next-to-impossible to find someone in that mess of people.  
  
Yawns were exchanged among all of them, and they fell asleep-despite the hollering, partying, and general uproar not too far away from them-concetrating only on the distant sound of the train. 


	17. pony has nightmares about gravy

Please read & review. Dead Flowers is set after That Was Then, This is Now by S.E. Hinton which is sort of the continuation to The Outsiders my main character starts off as Bryon, but Pony and Mark and Cathy and Two-Bit are very very important, too.  
  
Okay, thanks for reviewing...  
  
.... Deadly Wisteria-Always glad to hear from you.   
  
....and Robot In Disguise-You changed your name from dollwithouteyes to Robot In Disguise, did ya? I noticed before but hadn't chatted with ya since...And oh, that's the name of the c. thornton howell movie? My mistake. Well, I was working on my fic when I was watching I Love the 80's so it was hard to pay complete attention. I've watched some more episodes of it and Rob Lowe seems like he's in a lot of them.   
  
Hmm...I'm trying to get back to Bryon and Mark in my fic, but I gotta do some stuff with Mark and Two-Bit first...  
  
Chapter 17  
  
-------------------  
  
Two-Bit shook off a cramp in his leg as he took a good look around the place. He had been their for hours tonight and figured he was getting a good hold on how things were. There was a big track out back where the horses were racing, and stables and pens on one side of it. Only trainers and the hands were hanging around there. They didn't let the people who were at the rodeo just for a good time over there. The guys would just get in their way. Besides, some of the riders were too serious or high-strung right before they raced, so guys didn't want to hang around them right then. You also had your rings set up for trick riders and other special competitions. There wasn't a lot of those still set up since it was so late. There were a lot of tough guys hanging out and chewing tobacco and drinking down whiskey or whatever else they could get their hands on. They didn't want to see the pretty ponies gallop over white fences. Even the cattle tying and roping was dying down. Bull-riding and mechancial bull-riding were the favorites. Two-Bit tried to think where Mark would be. Mark didn't seem like he wanted to just bum around and catch up with people. Mark would probaly be looking for some action. Action that he could get on. The races were out since Mark had been plainly sick of them since he couldn't get away with rigging them, and the ropings would seem to red-neck for Mark's taste. So all that was left really was the bull-riding, and likely mechanical bull-riding cause only professionals rode the real ones unless they were plain dumb. Two-Bit could picture Mark flying off one of those jerking hunks of metal...Mark would do anything and riding one of those wasn't an exception.  
  
Two-Bit knew him well. Mark was sprawled out on the ground when Two-Bit first saw him. Another guy, Wade Byers, was helping Mark up and laughing his head off while Mark rubbed his twitching shoulder and pulled out a fiver to give him.  
  
Wade stopped laughing as he pocketed his newly acclaimed money. "You ain't gonna try again, are you? I could use the money, but I don't know if your body can take another throw."  
  
"I could handle it."  
  
Two-Bit came up and tugged at Mark's arm. Mark pulled it back and turned away from Wade as Two-Bit started talking."You've never rode a day in your life before, have you?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"So let's go, you can handle riding in the same truck as the gang, can't ya?"  
  
"Yeah, but what you doing when we get back in town?"  
  
"Going over to the Curtis'."  
  
"It's one thing to hitch a ride, and another thing to hang around with them. I ain't doing it."  
  
"So we can drop you off at your house."  
  
"Don't got one remember?" Mark said, sagging his hands into his pockets. Glancing over his shoulder, Mark saw that Wade had walked back over to watch another man try his luck on the bull. Two-Bit kept talking.  
  
"I mean my house."  
  
"So I can pal around with your mother and your little sister? No thanks, you promised me some fun. I'm gonna stay here."  
  
"How you gonna get home?"  
  
"Don't know, maybe hitch a ride from Wade. Besides I need some money."  
  
"What for?"  
  
Mark flipped back out his hands and cracked his knuckles. "That bar. I tracked down the guy who owns it, and if I don't want it turned into a candy shop, we gotta give up a first payment real soon."  
  
"I would kill for a Hershey's right now...Hey, why do you want to open the bar anyway?"  
  
"Yu want to back down?" Mark said a little sharply.  
  
"Do I ever back down when booze is concerned?"  
  
"Not since I've known you." Mark didn't say anything for a minute, and Two-Bit just shrugged and asked,  
  
"So, how are we gonna scrape up the money?"  
  
"I got an idea..."  
  
____  
  
Darry woke up and jerked, shaking the whole truck a little bit. They were sitting in that darned lot still and who knew where Two-Bit and Mark were? Everyone else in the truck was still asleep. Pony was curled up in the front and Steve was pressed against the side of the truck bed snoring slightly and Soda was shaking with his arms wrapped up inside each other. It was getting colder at night this time of year. Thoughtfully, Darry tucked his jacket around Soda. He looked like a little kid when he was asleep. Truthfully, Soda always did, but it was nicer when he was asleep because he wasn't talking so much and running around and driving Darry crazy.  
  
Who else drove him crazy? Two-Bit. Darry remembered him and left the truck to go find Two-Bit, drag him back, and finally leave. Darry wasn't pleased. The place was still infested with people. Didn't people ever go home anymore? He was considering tying Two-Bit to the truck and dragging him back into town when he heard the familiar laugh. Fuming, Darry barged through the people in his way, and thought he felt someone hit him but just kept going.  
  
Mark was on top of a guy, beating the tar out of him while a bunch of people watched and Two-Bit cheered Mark on, a wad of money in his hands. With a yell, the guy gave up and pulled his wallet out. Mugging as a sport? Darry faintly considered.  
  
"What are you two doing?" Darry yelled.  
  
Two-Bit lifted his nose out of a nice wad of bills and grinned at Darry.  
  
"Duking it out for cash. You know could make us a lot of money, Dar."  
  
Darry grunted. "We...are...leaving. Now." He clenched his teeth, trying to calm himself.. Probably to keep himself from lunging on Two-Bit and ripping him to pieces. They had been waiting on Two-Bit for hours and here he was playing around. And, maybe, Darry was a little agitated since he couldn't get much sleep running around after him. Two-Bit stuck out his bottom lip and looked at Mark, who answered back,  
  
"I'm staying. I'll hunt up a poker game, maybe."  
  
Two-Bit handed over most of the money in his hands to Mark, gave him a small knock on the chin, and followed Darry docilely, who refused to carry him back to the truck.  
  
  
  
^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^  
  
The bumpy ride back woke the rest of the gang up halfway, and then they had to get up and walk into the Curtis house. Darry, Steve, and Two-Bit got on the couch while Soda and Pony laid on the floor by the coffee table. Two-Bit had gotten the selector and was flipping through the channels, hoping for a cartoon, but not getting one. All he saw was the news (war coverage), commercials(Pepsi, Sears, and Wrigley's spearmint gum), and one channel had a cooking show on.  
  
".....and everyone's worse nightmare is lumpy gravy. Adding this will keep it nice and smooth...." The round woman on the screen promised, dumping some sort of magical concoction into it.  
  
Two-Bit sighed. "Is that what's been making you scream all these years, Pony? All those horrible dreams...Lumpy gravy?! Gosh a mighty. You have to confront your fears, Pony. Fix me some biscuits and gravy will ya?"  
  
"It's 3 o'clock in the morning."  
  
"So?"  
  
"So I'm starving. I'll have to fix some eggs and bacon, too."  
  
----end of chapter seventeen-----  
  
next chapter: mark continues trying to get his bar... 


	18. bryon goes to jail

This is short, y'all, but it's got a lot of stuff going on. A lot of stuff. Trying to finally put together some of these things that've been spinning around in my head. Got some language in it that I didn't st*r out this time.  
  
Hope it's not too confusing. Well, it's not all explained yet....  
  
This is my Eighteenth Chapter!!!  
  
I love all of y'all, so keep reviewing, 'kay?  
  
-----------------  
  
"You're gonna have to give up on him, Bryon."  
  
Here we were. Same place me and Mark had been the other year, except I was in Mark's place and Cathy was in mine. I like to think I wasn't as hard as Mark had become. Actually I knew I wasn't. But I wasn't the same. I don't know how you can go to prison and be the same. I wasn't as angry as Mark had been towards me. I didn't want to kill Cathy. But I wanted to slap her.  
  
Let me explain. Cathy didn't turn me in for something like I had to Mark. I had got myself into this mess. It was a big mess. But I had to. I fucking had to. And I'm not sure Cathy understood that I had to. Hell, she was upset that I was dropping out of school now and not going to college. In jail, I wasn't worried about how I was gonna make up all my work or something when I got out. I was just worried about staying alive right now. But I couldn't tell Cathy all this. I didn't want her to know what happens in jail. She didn't need to know. You figure out real quick not to stand alone in the corner...And I had only had to do it for a few weeks, and maybe just a few weeks more. Mark was in here for almost a year.  
  
And that's why I did it. An attempt to...try to make it up to him. God, that sounds lame. I didn't want him to go to jail again. I had been so fucking stupid before...so fucking stupid. And I hope he's happy now.  
  
Actually I do, I think. I want him to be happy. And I want him to quit hating me. And here Cathy is, telling me its never gonna happen. She forgave me. What if I had given up on her? Huh?  
  
"You forgave me."   
  
"I'm not Mark."  
  
I knew that.  
  
"I know that." I fidgeted with the sleeve of the stupid orange get-up. "Just...well have you seen him lately?"  
  
"I haven't tried to." She paused for a second. She kind of flinched about something and then said, "I think he's laying low at Two-Bit's."  
  
"Cause he's busy thinking about me probably. Trying to sort out what he's thinking..."  
  
"Probably hiding from the cops. They know you didn't do it. They might go after him."  
  
"Wrong. Lazy son-of-a-bitches."  
  
"They like to pick fights though, don't they?"  
  
"Yeah." I knew that pretty well.  
  
I thought about what had happened before, stroking at my face for a second. Mark would have beat the shit out of them if he'd a known which ones did it. Jail or not. But I had been too drunk to remember what they looked like. Just those damn blue suits and those flashing lights that hurt my eyes. And I thought about what had happened now, why I was in jail. Why I had met up with my good ol' friends the cops again so that they could snap those silver bracelets of theirs on me.  
  
*~*  
  
Mark had got Charlie's up and running again. I never crossed the street and went inside it. Just watched. Looking at it as those boards finally came down. As people went inside it. People from the neighborhood helping to clean it up some. Like Two-Bit's mother. Crimedy, my own mom even helped paint over the spraypaint. She loved him as much as I did maybe. The people around town were sad to see it close before. I told you, Charlie was well-liked. I wondered how Mark had paid for the leasing. Gone back to his old ways of money? But I heard he was just doing plain stuff-some poker, some stealing. Never asking for donations. Mark didn't ever want to be a charity case. He sure didn't.  
  
The only way I found out about Mark was to "hear". Hear what people were saying and sometimes watch things from a distance. How Mark kept going. Not caring about me. Opening up a bar, starting a business. Resurrecting Charlie's Bar and I knew I couldn't step a foot in it. He would kill me himself or I'd die just looking around the place. Remembering. It hurt to remember.  
  
Charlie wouldn't be behind that bar. Charlie wouldn't be wiping the mugs with a ragged cloth, carrying on a conversation with a tatooed motorcyclist while the glass squeaked. Charlie wouldn't be there. For me, as sad as it was to see the place close, it was sadder to see it open. And I think Mark knew that.  
  
I stayed good enough, though. I could go hours sitting on the couch with Cathy with my head against hers and listening to her breathe. I loved her so much. And someday I was gonna marry her. I had told that to Mark before. A long time ago. I doubt Mark wanted little prodigies now. Named after him and all. He'd shoot them or something to piss me off.  
  
Damn Mark.  
  
Damn him for all that and damn him for what he did next. 


	19. MARK'S POV! mark plays poker

Dead Flowers  
  
Chapter Nineteen  
  
---------------------------------  
  
Mark  
  
Don't you know it's hard running a bar? Two-Bit and his lazy ass doesn't do shit and I gotta keep this place running. It's hard, man, trying to keep this place running by selling drinks to the low-lifes of Tulsa when they could just as easily go to a bar a block down than my bar. So's I gotta do some extra-work. For now, until I get more buisness, I have to do some work on the side.  
  
Poker games start up at 5 a clock in the back of Benny's, one of the other bar's down the street, but the heavy stuff don't start till about eleven. I come in at eleven. I haven't been playing here very long. I'm used to hustling games in some of the joints on the other side of town, but the stakes are bigger here and that's how I like it. This is where Benny and some other big shots play. I can't stand Benny. He laughs too much and spits up some when he does it. He's eating some french fries and ketchup and I keep having to wipe red specks off my fucking arm. But he seems tough. He doesn't like me either really, but I'm just a kid so he doesn't bother with too much. Usually.  
  
We were playing, and I wasn't doing too bad. I wouldn't of come down here if I didn't think I had a shot. I'm not stupid. I've been playing since I was, what? seven? For money since I was thirteen? These big shots think they know everything and got half of this town rigged and maybe they do, but I was playing to win. I told you I needed the cash and I wasn't lying. I mean what I say.  
  
And so's I got some winnings piled up already, and Seymour, he asks me how buisness is coming. I says just fine and he says, well if I'm doing so good why am I trying to make money here? And I says, I'm not trying, I'm doing it, and lay down my hand and Seymour goes out. Seriously, he says, you having problems? You just a kid. I say, Benny's playing, too, is Benny having problems, Seymour? And that's when Seymour says "a little bit" and Benny flinches but then tells Seymour he doesn't know what the hell he's talking about and he needs to shut it before he shuts it for him. And then Benny lights a cigarette and deals the next hand.  
  
I'm right beside Benny so I'm the last one to get my cards. I watch every person and most of them are good enough not to bluff. I don't bluff. But these guys don't know that. Last time that I had a bad hand, I itched my middle finger against my index finger real causally looking. I had been about to flip Seymour off for this cute remark he made earlier-he got's a big ass mouth-but stopped myself. Had to have self control around these people. Well, I got a decent hand, but I know since I look for bluffs, they must, too. So I rub my fingers over each other barely on my left hand while I lay my cards down with my other hand. I think Carl might have picked it up as a bluff. Nothing goes past these guys.  
  
A couple bets later, and it's just me and Carl. I see him on his last raise, and the last card is flipped and we turn over our hands. He let's out a smirk before he looks at my cards. I end up with three jacks and a pair of deuces and he's got a pair of queens. I beat him.  
  
"Son-of-a-bitch." He mutters. "Son-of-a-bitch." Carl should've been smart should've kept his mouth shut. But I guess he wanted his ass kicked. Ya know, not just in poker. He says, "Son of a bitch! Son of a bitch!" And he's yelling it louder and one guy tells him to sit down and Benny smiles and Seymour says, "What's wrong?" Carl yells "That fucking cheater!"  
  
"I didn't cheat." I say plainly. Not in this hand anyway. Anyone can see he's just mad because I beat him. Anyone can see that. I pull at the money in front of the table and Benny takes his cigarette and slams it down into my hand. What the fuck! I grit my teeth.  
  
"There's a despute over the money, you can't just take it. Carl here says he deserves it, don't you Carl?" Benny lifted up the cigarette and I can feel my skin burning. None of the other guys say nothing. They're just sitting there.  
  
But Carl nods. "Yeah, he cheated. It's my pot, my money." Fuck him. My hand is still over the money. "Punk ass, give me my fucking money."  
  
"It's my money." I say.  
  
"You know what, you know what, I can't stand you kid, come in here, cheating, and stealing our money, like you been doing, running that fucking bar. You're underage kid, you know that, and Benny here, Benny's a retired cop and there's only so much he can let go on..."  
  
And he kept talking and I knew what the fuck they were saying. They were gonna try and close my bar down. And Benny, a fucking ex-cop? I knew I hated him. Motherfucker.   
  
Carl reached for my money again and I lifted up my hand and let him grab the shitty dollars and picked up Benny's glass ketchup bottle, smashed it against the side of the table, and fucking slapped the broken bottle into Benny's fat fucking face.  
  
And after fucking jumping me, and throwing me into the street, the next day motherfuckers reported that my bar was being ran by someone underage and assault.  
  
------------------  
  
Bryon  
  
I could hear police sirens. The sound made me want to vomit. I kept walking and went inside my house and shut the door. I knew what was going on. I heard. Charlie's was closed today. And people were talking, said Mark was going down. The police knew what had been going on, he had hit the wrong person last night, but he hadn't been booked yet. They were looking for him.  
  
The police pulled into my yard, and their lights were still flashing. I could see it through the window. Two officers stepped out and walked up to my door.  
  
I got up from my kitchen table and opened the door.  
  
They flashed their i.d.'s at me.  
  
You think they'd get that people realized who they were from their blue get-ups and the cars that said POLICE and made that really loud noise.  
  
"Do you know anything about the fight at Benny's last night or Charlie's?"  
  
"Gee, officer, do you have a suspect?" They were looking for Mark, and thought I'd know.  
  
"Don't fuck with us, son. You gonna tell us what we need to know?" His hand grazed a billy stick wedged into his belt.  
  
I looked into the parking lot, at the lights flashing, and I stared into those lights and I didn't blink. I remembered the last time I had seen the police, dragging Mark from me and I had just stood there... I wiped my eyes. "I didn't mean to..."  
  
"What?" One of them said.  
  
I looked up. And then I confessed to beating up Benny and running a bar illegally. 


	20. not gonna have to deal with me anymore

Hey e'rbody! This fic is coming to a close real soon!   
  
News: if you haven't heard, S.E. Hinton is coming out with a new book! It's called "Hawkes Harbor." I have not the slightest clue what its about...well except that the main character is a vampire and it's leveled for adults, not teens. Maybe being for adults just means there's more smut? But I've read some smutty teen books so I dunno...for more info(on outsiders news, not smut), go to theoutsidersmovieandbook.com  
  
Reviews of reviews:  
  
Robot In Disguise: hiya! glad that you're still reading my fic! you like my writing style? Thanks!!!!   
  
antique orange: shrieks with happiness yes! i lurve that someone new is reading my fic, haven't got many reviews lately cringes, then remembers you like my fic and smiles again thanx! I've seen your fic "Five for Fighting" but I haven't read it yet. Angela's gonna be in it? Sounds cool! I'll try to check it out real soon. By the by, I like your name!  
  
Oooh, guess what I feel like doing today? Writing a disclaimer!!!!  
  
Disclaimer: This is not a completely original work. It is based on the books The Outsiders and That Was Then, This is Now by S.E. Hinton. This is, afterall, www.fanfiction.net!!!  
  
Please read and review!!!  
  
On with da fic:  
  
Bryon  
  
Two weeks since I got out of jail and I just had another row with Cathy. We were sitting at the table in the kitchen, my mom asleep in her room, and I pulled out a drink from the fridge. She had come over, hugged me, and started talking about colleges she was applying for, trying to rub off on me probably. I didn't really want to hear it. She knew I wasn't going to college. What's the point? Not like I have the cash anyways.  
  
"How am I supposed to pay for it?"   
  
"You need a job." I had lost mine at the grocer's. Like they'd save it for me till I got out of jail. Ha.  
  
"Yeah, well, I still won't have enough."  
  
"If you save enough, and don't waste it...like on beer."  
  
"God, Cathy. I can do what I want. Stop bugging me about it."  
  
"Well what do you want to end up like? One of those drunken bums on the street down by Charlie's? It's what you've been acting like since you got back!"  
  
I set my drink down.  
  
"Shut-up! You don't know what I'm going through!"  
  
"I hate it when you're like this, Bryon! When you say I don't understand! You can be such a jerk! Why do you keep doing this?"  
  
"I-"  
  
"I know Mark hasn't tried to talk to you. Is that why?"  
  
I shut my mouth. It was getting to me bad. I would do anything for him. Anything. I was sorry and he still won't talk to me. I've passed by him a few times and he just acted like he didn't see me. I wish he'd say something to me.  
  
She had gotten up and was walking towards the door. "That's not a good reason, Bryon. Not to treat me like crap. I love you and if you love me you'll just stop all this!"  
  
"You...dammit Cathy!"  
  
She looked at me and walked out the door, leaving it open. "Fine!" I yelled at her from inside. "Fine! Leave!" I slammed the door. "DAMMIT!"  
  
"Watch how you talk, Bryon." I spun around to see my mom, standing behind me. She looked sad. Hmm...failed her too, did I? What a great son I was...  
  
"I'm going out." I mumbled, brushing past her to grab my beer.  
  
"Going to go catch up with Cathy?" She asked, her face brightening a little bit.  
  
"No," I snorted. If Cathy wanted to be like that, then fine. I walked out of the house.  
  
----  
  
Things were so less complicated with Angela. We yelled, we kissed. Who cared? Okay, I had cared, I was...obsessed with her. Yeah, maybe things hadn't been easy riding, but it wasn't as serious as it was nowadays. Things seemed so much more fun back then.  
  
I had caught a ride uptown. Didn't really feel like driving myself. I was with a group of guys and I could see Angel leaning up against somebody's truck. Her hair, long again, was blown around by the wind. She was still gorgeous, but had a few scars on her face now. I remembered the night when me and Mark picked her up, how she said that I was the only boy she had ever cared about. Me. I hadn't really thought about it before. She had been drunk and was spilling a lot of stuff. Had she been saying the truth? Did she really care about me? Or was she just trying to come on to me?  
  
I thought that maybe I could talk to her now. Maybe compare with her how much life sucked. Who was I kidding? Angel wasn't a talker anyways. Not that kind of talker. Not unless she was drunk. She was a looker. And damn. She looked good. I could almost have walked up to her right then and kissed her...  
  
I was just being stupid. That would've just been one more screw-up. One more screw-up. Had plenty all ready, didn't I? I stuck as many beers in my coat pockets as I could and walked off down the alley.  
  
I had done plenty enough shit. I woke up everyday in a sweat, knowing what a fucking screw-up I was. I knew I'd been lousy to Cathy. I saw a pay-phone and threw in some change and dialed her number, but I got her answer machine. I started crying on the phone. Trying to tell her I was sorry...  
  
"I've been so horrible to you, baby...you're too good for me. You don't deserve this. I'm a fucking low-life and..." I paused. "You're not gonna have to...have to deal with my shit anymore. I'm sorry Cathy. I'm sorry."I hung up the phone and wiped my face.   
  
I had been horrible to her. But I couldn't handle it. I tried to get Mark to forgive me. Couldn't he see how sorry I was? I'd do anything for him not to hate me anymore. But he still does. I've tried, but I can never get him back. It's worse than if he died. I did this to him! He should be mad at me! I sent him to jail! I did it. I screwed things up and he hates me for what I did to him.  
  
And me, I was in a small jail for two weeks, and he was in the state prison for months.  
  
And it's my fault.  
  
And he's never going to forgive me.  
  
And I'll never forgive myself.  
  
I've lost my brother.  
  
-----  
  
3rd person  
  
It was nearly one in the morning. Cathy had went back to the Douglas' house at nine, but Bryon wasn't there, so she went looking for him. She had found some of his friends. They pointed a direction they thought he had went and she went that way. "Stupid me," She muttered. "Why'd I even ask them? Like they really know where he went. Those low-life creeps are either always drunk or stoned."  
  
It was so cold and so late. She was scared. It's never safe to be out on the streets like this. She bit her lip. She had to go home. Her parents would already be furious. But she wanted to find him. She wanted to make sure he was alright. She wanted to find him. She wasn't sure that when he said she wouldn't have to deal with his stuff anymore that he meant he was going to be better for now on...what if he meant something else?  
  
Cathy turned around and started walking home, she wasn't that far away now. Still glancing around, she finally saw him.  
  
He was sitting down an alley, his head facing the cement and most of him overshadowed. She caught her breath. He was mumbling. "I'm sorry...Didn't I tell you that? I told you that, Mark! I tried, but Mark, I can't take it! I can't take it. If you can't forgive me. I won't forgive myself either. I'm fucking sick of this. Fucking sick, man. I'm so fucked up. I fucked everything up."  
  
"Bryon!" Cathy said, already crying, and dropping to her knees a few feet away from him. He lifted up his head and his eyes swirled around and he was breathing heavily. "Bryon...baby...stop. You're scaring me."  
  
He jerked and covered up his face. "Stop. Don't. Cathy get away from here. Go. " She reached out for him and he flung back against trash bins, knocking them against each other. "Go! Get the fuck away from me!"  
  
He stumbled holding a bottle of liquor with the label scratched off and halfway empty. He lifted up his arm and threw it against the ground. Breaking, shattering, jagged shards lept up from the concrete and pierced through his arm. Cathy shook as blood ran down from his arm. She closed her eyes and cried out. And when she looked up he was gone.  
  
---  
  
It was 1:30 at night. He was sitting on the steps outside at night, smoking a cigarette and flipping through a skin mag. The cold didn't bother him, even though he was only wearing jeans and a wife-beater. He would've been at Charlie's, mixing drinks-taking a sip every once in a while, but only a sip. You gotta be sober to run a buisness.  
  
But Mark had been caught. In a way. Even if he hadn't been the one arrested for it, he still had to stay away from Charlie's. It was only a matter of time before the bar was shut down for good. The police had left it open and not charged Two-Bit with anything, but Two-Bit wouldn't be able to handle things himself. It was only a matter of time.  
  
He wasn't going to stick around and see it happen. Tulsa didn't have anything for him anymore. He had lost his bar and he couldn't stand mooching off of Two-Bit's family. Mrs. Matthews already had Two-Bit mooching off of her, she didn't need Mark too. And besides, Two-Bit was her kid and Mark wasn't. Mark's mother was dead.  
  
He couldn't stand this town. He was sick of them all. It might be nice to leave, wouldn't it? He wouldn't have to run into the Shepards anymore, the Curtis', or...  
  
"Mark!"  
  
The voice suprised him. He hadn't hear anyone walking up to him. It was Cathy. That suprised him more. It took some guts for her to come up to him. The last time he had seen her, she was crying and Bryon and Pony had to come save her sorry ass. He would've have made her real sorry for being such a two-timing bitch, too...Nah, she didn't have guts. She was stupid.  
  
She tried to talk, but her teeth were chattering and he wasn't about to put his arm around her. "What d'ya want?" He said, pulling the cigarette out of his mouth and looking at it cross-eyed.  
  
"It's Bryon." Dumb girl, she looked like she was about to cry. Or had been crying. "I'm worried about him."  
  
"That's not my problem. Hey, get off my fucking stairs."  
  
"They're not yours. Their Two-Bit's?"  
  
Mark gave her a funny look, stood up and walked inside of the empty house as Cathy stared at him.  
  
"Wait...please..." He shut the door behind him and she leaned on it, sobbing and pounding weakly on the door.  
  
"Mark...ppplease...you got to do something...Mark...he's sorry.."  
  
"FUCK HIM!" Mark yelled from inside.  
  
"Mahhhrrkahh..." She sucked her breath. "I think he's going to kill himself..."  
  
Pause.  
  
"Good! I wish he would've done it years ago! Don't you?"  
  
"I think he's gonna...he's gonna kill himself."  
  
Pause.  
  
"Let him die."  
  
"Mark," she sobbed, "please."  
  
Mark opened the door quickly and she fell against the floor, still crying with her head faced down.  
  
"Go home, Cathy." She looked up at him. She didn't say anything to him as he walked off the porch and down the street.   
  
But then, she shut her eyes, and mouthed  
  
"please." 


	21. Dum spiro, spero

_HI!!!  
  
I've finally done it!  
  
I started Dead Flowers in October of 2003 and now, it is finished.  
  
I have poured myself into this fic. It was my first S.E. Hinton fanfiction and was the first fanfiction I had written in years and inspired me to write more fanfiction. I have worked hard on Dead Flowers and hope that those of you who have taken the time to read it have liked it.  
  
Thank you to everyone who has ever reviewed! Deadly Wisteria, my first review ever. you kept reviewing my fic chapter after chapter for so long. You gave me such great ideas from that first review. Robot In Disguise (used to be Doll Without Eyes) you have also reviewed my fics so much. Y'all two kept me from going crazy from getting no reviews sometimes.  
  
Zevie, I was so happy when I got your review. I have proclaimed my love for your Slashed Tires fic so many times to so many people because it is so great. I love it sooo much. I was so happy that such a wonderful writer had positive things to say about my fanfiction.  
  
Antique Orange, your review made me so happy because I haven't had any new reviewers in so long.   
  
And Jesse, Hallelujah89, Dracori, alyssaloo, kelly, jenny...well, everyone who reviewed Dead Flowers over these months....all of your reviews have meant so much to me. I have been estatic everytime I got a review. Really.  
  
So I dedicate this final chapter to all of my reviewers. Thank you._

* * *

Chapter 21: Dum spiro, spero  
  
"I've done enough...Charlie, I'm sorry I couldn't fix things, but I'm too much of a screw-up...You, Mom, Cathy, M&M, Pony, Mark...Mark...y'all would've just been better off if you never met me. I'm sick of screwing up people's lives, Charlie. You dig?"  
  
"Dig what?" Mark found Bryon sitting on the edge of the roof of an abandoned apartment overlooking Buck Merril's building.  
  
"Mark?" Bryon choked, seeing him.  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"You can't stop me."  
  
"Not gonna. In fact, I don't think you have the guts to do it. You're a coward, Bryon. You're just gonna sit around and mope. I'm probably gonna have to kill you myself." Mark slipped his hand into his own pocket, drawing a silver gun that glinted in the darkness... "Tulsa's a great place. So easy to get guns. But before you die, Bryon, just for the hell of it, why'd you do it?"  
  
"I don't know Mark..." Bryon said, still and slumped over, looking at the cars go past beneath them. "Don't fucking tell me that!"  
  
"I don't know..."  
  
"Fine! Nevermind! Get fucking ready to die...Say your prayers. See maybe now we'll be even. I'll finally have killed you like you killed me. You wanted to be even, didn't you? Didn't you! WHY THE FUCK DID YOU DO IT!"  
  
"I was messed up. I couldn't take it all. Cathy was crying because M&M was messed up and you were out selling the stuff. M&M got it from those hippies and out their supporting the whole system and you helped fuck up M&M. And Cathy."  
  
"You always did pick Cathy over me."  
  
"That's not all there is Mark. You know, you still don't get...I'm sorry that I did that to you Mark, but you're not sorry at all for fucking up M&M and that makes you scum."  
  
"FUCK!" Mark screamed, pressing his gun against Bryon's forehead, who still just sat there motionless besides his fucking mouth. "You mean like you? Huh? You, YOU calling me scum. Why should I be sorry? Why should I be? FUCK! I'm gonna kill you and I won't be sorry about that either. I'll fucking laugh and I'll be fucking through with you."  
  
"I've wondered what you think sometimes, if you remember us year ago..."  
  
"That was a fucking long time ago."  
  
"We grew up together, sneaking out under Mom's nose, picking up chicks and hustling pool. No one was as tuff as us. Nobody had nothing on us two."  
  
"That's in the past. Before you fucked up. That stuff is gone like your head's about to be, Bryon."  
  
"Mark, you never mooched off of my family. You are my family. You're my best friend and my brother." Bryon pulled the gun out of Mark's dazed hands, raised it to his head....

* * *

"Christ!"Mark yelled, attempted in vain to wipe off all the blood on his leg. The top of it had been scraped by the bullet.  
  
"Why?" Bryon asked, shaking, looking up from the gun that lay falledn on the ground from when Mark had knocked it out of his hands just now.  
  
Mark, his thigh skinned a little, leaned on Bryon who could harldy stand after drinking so much that night, and said, "Because you're my brother, Bryon."

* * *

There was just enough light coming from the street lamp outside for her to find her slippers. Her wrinkled feet slid into them with familiarity and her arms cozied into her robe. The robe swayed in unison with the slippers, which were moving across the faded carpet towards the other bedroom. Gently, she turned the brazen knob and then leaned against the doorframe and smiled. Mrs. Douglas' had never given up hope, and now both of her boys were fast asleep in their beds where they belonged.

* * *

finality

* * *

dum spiro, spero-while i breathe, i hope


End file.
